P s y c h e d e l i c c a b a r e t

Blonde Moment

2009-04-06T00:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah... it happens...

Girlfriend: Oh gosh that's terrible, how could that happen?
Boyfriend: Something fucked up must have happened with their machine.
Girlfriend: I heard that the co-pilot, one of the victims, was the son of Pangdam Iskandar Muda.
Boyfriend: Yeah...
Girlfriend: Pangdam Iskandar Muda... that's a big name...
Boyfriend: Yeah it is...
Girlfriend: And what location is under his command, actually?
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: That Pangdam Iskandar Muda...
Boyfriend: ???... He's in... Iskandar Muda...
Girlfriend: OH! That's not his name???

.......
.......

PS: My deepest condolences go to all the family of the victims of the Fokker 27 TNI AU that crashed in Lanud Bandung, today.

Dangdut Bliss; Strike Three!!!

2009-03-23T03:51:00.000-07:00

Semakin mantap sudah aspirasi saya untuk menyambangi diskotik2 dangdut di tanjung priuk. Semakin mantap! Sungguh!

Couple of months ago, I decided to go on a list, of things I have to do before I die. The idea is not new, of course, tapi saya sungguh merasa bahwa hidup itu adalah sebuah perjalanan linear yang tak mungkin bisa di rewind. So might as well live everything to the fullest while you still can, feel everything, taste everything, see everything, pursue everything that comes across your mind.

One day, it's that 'diskotik dangdut' that comes across my mind.

I have always wondered what's it like inside. They're so kitschy looking, really. I wanna take a look and prove all the stereotypes, all the cliches. Must be one helluva adventure, I thought. Tapi tentu saja, meski sudah membujuk rayu sana sini dengan pandangan mata anak kucing, lirikan menggoda sampai debat filosofis absurd tak menentu, tidak ada satu orang pun yang sudi menemani saya :p sehingga, pelan2 aspirasi itu pun terlupa.

Sampai hari ini! Karena malas naik taxi hari ini saya memutuskan untuk pulang naik angkot. Karena diluar hujan, jalan cukup macet, pun angkot yang saya naiki sepi, cuma dihuni dua penumpang. Saya yang sebatang kara di belakang, dan seorang mas2 di samping abang supir.

Mungkin karena bosan terjebak macet, si abang supir pun menyalakan radio. Entah radio apa. Pertama sih ngobrol2 nggak penting, sampai tiba2 terdengarlah sebuah lagu dangdut disko dengan sentuhan etnis... nyehehe...
Etnis as in... semacam dangdut kerawangan disko disko what the fuck apa pun itu laahhh... mari kita tidak terjebak dalam genre, karena genre itu adalah konsep pengkategorian yang soooo tidak postmodern (cuih...) mengutip kalimat yang pernah dilemparkannya sewaktu baks di tepi danau UI jaman dahulu kala... :p
Saya sesungguhnya cukup terpana oleh lagu itu karena nadanya yang cukup catchy dan teknik vokal penyanyinya yang cukup khas. Simon Cowell selalu menceramahi para kontestan American Idol yang nekad membawakan lagu karangan mereka sendiri dengan... "Itu tidak catchy!", well Simon, ini yang catchy! Ini! Liriknya pun juara!
Berikut sekilas penggalan lirik yang terus terngiang2 di kepala saya...

"Nyeri nyeri nyeri tak kan bisa terobati
Biar berantakan mati pun tak penasaran
Mumpung masih muda belum punya keturunan
Kita cerai saja talak tilu sekalian..."

Now that's the real deal, Simon! I can even feel her pain! Lagu ini sungguh merupakan representasi kultur yang real, it's relatable! Saya jadi inget asisten rumah tangga ibu saya dulu, cantik sekali dia, umurnya baru 21, sudah cerai dua kali.

Saya masih terjebak dalam imajinasi2 aneh ketika berangsur lirik yang diulang2 itu memasuki fase fade out. Sungguh menarik, saya pikir. Lumayan lah menghibur di saat macet2 begini... tapi lagunya sudah habis... ya sudahlah tidur saja... daripada bosen...

Tapi saya salah! Tidak mungkin tentu bosan merundung ketika lagu berikutnya datang berkunjung! Things are just beginning to get even more amusing, really. Untuk yang kedua ini saya akan mendeskripsikannya sebagai "Rockdut gospel dengan sentuhan jazz"!

Saya tidak bisa menangkap dengan jelas sesungguhnya keseluruhan lirik yang dinyanyikan karena si penyanyi -- yang suaranya terdengar seperti hybrid antara Otong Koil dan Rhoma Irama-- menyanyikan keseluruhan lagunya dengan geraman berirama. Ya! Geraman berirama!

Geraman berirama penuh sinergi spiritualitas lebih tepatnya. Ide yang tidak baru, sesungguhnya, lihat As I Lay Dying, atau Stryper, atau Purgatory, atau apa pun itu lah! Sinergi spiritualitas mengalir lewat geraman sang penyanyi seperti pada lirik...

"Ada duit, ada rumah, ada sawah, alhamdulillaaaaaaaahhhh...."

Meskipun geramannya membuat liriknya sedikit sulit dicerna, tapi saya masih bisa menangkap satu dua patah pesan seperti keinginan naik haji, serta ucapan terima kasih akan rezeki. Menyentuh, namun liarrrr! Tentunya saya tidak melupakan alunan syahdu yang muncul nyaris di penghujung lagu. Tiupan saxophone template yang lirih, begitu tiba2, begitu tak terduga, begitu juara!!

Tapi sekali lagi tunggu, saya memang gegabah mengeluarkan kata juara... karena begitu lagu ketiga dimainkan, degup jantung saya seolah mengatakan that i'm about to hear the real deal! The real deal! Inilah juaranya! Inilah!

Lagu dibuka dengan tiupan seruling yang sangat lirih, lirih sekali menyayat hati. Terdengar kemudian suara isakan laki-laki. Perih, perih dan merintih...

Saya hanya ingat sepenggal lirik yang ia nyanyikan... tapi cukuplah untuk menggambarkan betapa nestapanya pria ini...

"Carikan pisau untuk ku potong nadi...
Carikan tali untuk ku gantung diri...
Aduduh... aduduh... kupatah hati...
Mau bunuh diri... tapi kuu takut maaati...
Kuuu takut matiii...."

Galau! Sungguh! Everybody Loves Irene, kalian seharusnya malu! Inilah galau terbaik abad ini. Saya menyesal sudah memvoting kalian berkali-kali di AVIMA 2009 untuk 'best melancholy masterpiece'. Saya malu!! Inilah melancholy masterpiece yang sesungguhnya! Kalian tidak ada apa-apanya!

Tepat ketika lagu melancholy masterpiece itu berakhir, tiba pulalah angkot saya di depan kompleks saya. What a bliss, strike three! Berikutnya, ayo siapa yang mau menemani saya ke diskotik dangdut? Marilah kemari hei hei heiiii....

..........
absurd.... hehehehehe....

What a Beautiful Waste of Sunshine...

2009-03-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

Lyrics & Free Music

What a beautiful day for a crushing defeat
What a stupid waste of sunshine
A funeral pace down a favourite street
But I have to come home sometime, I suppose

Don’t be hopeful on my behalf
I’d like to offer my resignation
And strangle myself with a football scarf
Or act in self-defenestrationhttp

Yeah, I have seen better days
The weekend was mine to waste
I had nothing to do
And you had nothing to do with me

And I try, and I try, and I try your patience
How low must your expectations be?
Goodness gracious me
Goodness gracious me
.............

ah, milord, what hath come down to the labyrinth? the minotaur, milord. the darkest children of Osiris.

Lemon Tart and A Box of Fairy

2009-03-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

mama is bored.

and fantasizing.

picture was taken from here

Between Phoebe Buffay and Calvin (and Hobbes)

2009-03-01T04:13:00.000-08:00

I took Jung Typology Test today and it turned out that I have an INFP (Introverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving) types of personality.

I wouldn't want to bore y'all with all the yada yada about this type of personality. (Though, if you're interested enough, you can quite take a peek on it here.) What interested me most is the fact it's stated that people with INFP is often set off from the rest of humanity because of its scarcity. Being found only in around one percent of the rest of the population.

If any of these could describe, INFP found in characters such as href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin_(Calvin_and_Hobbes)">Calvin(from Calvin and Hobbes), Phoebe Buffay/Princess Consuela Bananahammock, William Shakespeare, A.A Milne , and E.T! What? E.T?! (and i can imagine venie laughing her fucking ass off).

It's also stated that Literature/Writer, Humanity, Web-Design, Philosophy and Archeology are the top five most suitable occupations based on the INFP personality type. Hahah... neat...

And of course, who could express these whole yada yada better than the song about that outcast cat? Phoebe understands it really well.

Three, four...

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat
It's not your fault...

They won't take you to the vet
You're obviously not their favorite pet
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,
It's not your fault....

... dan labirin adalah labirin

2009-02-23T23:45:00.000-08:00

... masalahnya tidak ada kuda sembrani
atau jembalang yang berlari melangkahi pelangi

dan labirin adalah labirin

dengan tanah merah yang liat tempat kaki menjejaki
matahari buat ia kering sendiri
dan kaki-kaki makin terpatri
kita bisa apa lagi?

dan labirin adalah labirin

bukan tongkat sihir dan jentik jari
mampu urai rumit kelok hilang sendiri

*picture was taken from http://www.assyriatimes.com/images/labyrinth.jpg

Express Taxi Sucks Big Time!

2009-02-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this while I'm still angry. Big time angry. Like, furiously angry. I've never had such an insanely impolite taxi driver whole my life that makes me wanna go through all the mess writing complaint letters to media and buzzing costumer service with my call.

So here's how it was... it's 4.30 PM this afternoon and I was going to my friend's house in Bintaro. My plan was to grab some of my friend's rare movie collections so I brought my portable hardisk along with me. The sky was pretty dark in Pondok Pinang, where I live, and it was obviously going to rain. I wouldn't want to risk my portable hardisk getting soaked in the rain so I chose to take a taxi, also because I wasnt really quite familiar with the streets in Bintaro, though it's obviously not very far from Pondok Pinang.

I took an Express Taxi, greeted the driver as I got in the car as I always do and told him that I wanted to go to Bintaro. As a response to that, he asked me which Bintaro sector I wanted to go. Now, the only direction that my friend gave me was to find 'Organon' first (i didn't know where the Organon was at that time), and then from there, I could call her and she would direct me to her place. So that's what I did, I told the driver, politely, to find Organon first.
But in turn he gave me this response:
"Organon? Itu kan dekat banget! Macet"
Mind you, he said those sentences with a very high tone so I was quite set off. I told him that my destination is not Organon, it's still quite far from Organon but I need to get to Organon first. Guess what he said next?
"Itu depan sana ada angkot ke Organon. Naik angkot aja!"
WTF??? I thought. You are not talking to me like that, oh no.. no.. you are so not talking to me like that. I was already frickin pissed by that time, but I decided not to unleash the mama bitch yet. I was provoked, but at the same time I also know that he has automatically set off himself in big trouble with those words he said. So I decided to play along.
"Tempatnya masih jauh, Pak, dari Organon. Bapak baru aja menyuruh saya naik angkot? Saya bisa komplain ke Express atas perlakuan Bapak!"
I asked for his name and he was silenced a bit. But not for long. Apparently the taxi had reached that place called Organon.
"Dari sini kemana lagi, anak muda?!" He said with an annoyed tone.
Jesus, if I wasn't too angry at that time, I would laugh my ass off. But I was furious, and I couldn't stand his impoliteness. Oh how I would love to kick him at that time, but the rain has already falling outside and to kick his ass would obviously mean to jump straightly out of the car right after I kick him and voluntarily get myself soaked by the rain, so I decided to doo some woosahh... woooosaaaahhh...
"Ini Organon, Pak? Kalau emang udah sampai spot yang namanya Organon, kita belok kiri."
But instead of turning his car to the left he said:
"Anak muda, saya tidak suka nada bicara anak muda tadi waktu bilang saya menyuruh anda naik angkot! Bukan begitu maksudnya!"
What? Oh oh, yeah... I know what you want now, you jackass. You want to push it, don't you? Better not push it too far, really. Mama bitch is not nice. She's noooot nice.
But of course he chose to push it too far.
"Jangan lah sembarangan bicara, anak muda! Siapa juga yang nyuruh anda naik angkot! Sembarangan! Saya tidak senang! Saya juga punya hati!"
Dia bilang dia juga punya hati????? Yeah yeah those of you who are reading it right now, I know you're laughing. Yes yes it was funny, but at that time I really couldnt get the joke. So I told him, furiously:
"Saya juga tidak senang Bapak tidak sopan sama saya, bicara dengan nada kasar, menyuruh saya naik angkot padahal diluar sedang hujan, dan memanggil saya dengan panggilan 'anak muda' yang terdengar melecehkan! Ya, saya tidak suka! Dan saya akan melaporkan pada Express! Karena saya ti-dak-su-ka! TIDAK SUKA!"
And he said...
"Alaaahh... JANGAN TERLALU SENSITIF LAH!"
OVERLYSENSITIVE? ME? MOI? EIKE SENSITIP? Sensitive my ass! That's it, I'm not going to take this stupid driver's nonsense anymore.
"Bapak yang sensitif!! Kalo nggak mau narik gak usah jalan lah!"
"Ya udah TURUN AJA!!!"
HAH? Did he just say thaaaat? Did he just forced me to get out of his car right in the middle of the rain? That's it. He's so done. I'm so going to call that FUCKING EXPRESS and he's so going to get fired. That's it for him. Weep later you son of a bitch!
I was going to reach for my money in my wallet and giving him the classic 'throw money on da face' gesture before he said "Gak usah bayar!"
So i retorted "Bagus! Siap2 aja dipecat!" and slammed the door real hard i'm sure i would win a guiness record if there's a category for that.

What a jackass! And Express is really going to pay a whole fucking lot if they dont do anything to that dumb morron. So I picked up my phone, dialed their numbers, and demanded them to send me the copy of his warning letter no late than this end of the week, or I'll fuck their image off. I have ways of doing that. Waaaays.

Tsk!

Um al-Mumenin (Mother of the Believers)

2009-02-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

Saya bingung harus bereaksi apa ketika membaca berita tentang perempuan yang menyebut dirinya sendiri sebagai Um al-Mumenin (Mother of the Believers) ini. Sedih? Ya, saya hampir menangis memikirkan nasib para perempuan yang menjadi korbannya. Marah? Pastinya, saya marah mengetahui bahwa ada orang yang sedemikian jahat di dunia ini. Terkejut? Sayangnya, tidak juga. Saya terlalu banyak membaca, dan melihat, dan mendengar, untuk mengetahui betapa banyak perempuan yang dibunuh oleh keluarganya sendiri atas nama kehormatan, dilarang mendapatkan edukasi, dilucuti hak-haknya dalam masyarakat, yang terjadi pada islamic society. Saya tidak menggeneralisasi, saya tahu bahwa tidak semua layer dalam Islamic society menempatkan perempuan pada posisi demikian, tapi begitu banyaknya kasus sedemikian yang terjadi, saya tidak terkejut lagi mengetahui adanya kejadian ini. Saya sedih, saya marah, tapi saya tidak terkejut.

Saya belajar untuk melihat betapa kompleksnya posisi perempuan di mata Islam. Hari ini, ketika saya membaca kasus Um al-Mumenin, kompleksitas posisi perempuan itu terpapar kembali di mata saya.

Samira Jassim, 51 tahun, telah ditangkap oleh polisi Irak tanggal 21 Januari kemarin. Atas tuduhan telah merekrut lebih dari 80 perempuan pelaku bom bunuh diri, serta turut merencanakan dan berpartisipasi dalam puluhan serangan militan di Irak. Samira Jassim menyebut dirinya sendiri Um al-Mumenin atau Mother of the Believers dan adalah anggota dari grup militan Islam, Ansar Al-Sunna.

Menurut pengakuannya, para militan memilih perempuan sebagai pelaku bom bunuh diri, karena mereka lebih mudah menyembunyikan explosives di balik burqa mereka, serta kerap lolos begitu saja dari pemeriksaan security officer yang mayoritas laki-laki.

Mother of the Believers memiliki pola dalam merekrut para 'pejuang' perempuannya. Peran 'keibuan' Jassim adalah untuk mempersuasi para korban perkosaan, para perempuan-perempuan yang bermasalah dalam rumah tangga, para perempuan korban kekerasan dalam menghadapi rasa depresi mereka, rasa malu mereka, dengan cara menawarkan menjadi suicide bomber sebagai satu-satunya jalan keluar. Sebagai satu-satunya metode redemption.

Dalam pengakuannya, ia juga menyebutkan, bahwa organisasi militannya juga menggunakan metode 'organized rape' atau perkosaan yang terorganisir untuk memperbanyak jumlah perempuan yang bisa 'jatuh' dalam persuasinya, untuk kemudian menjadi suicide bombers.

Mind you, people. Do you realize what that means? Artinya, mereka melakukan tindakan-tindakan perkosaan terencana, untuk menciptakan lebih banyak perempuan yang depresi. Dalam society dimana perkosaan dilihat sebagai KESALAHAN si korban, bisa dibayangkan betapa malu, betapa tersiksa, dan betapa tertekannya perempuan-perempuan yang menjadi korban perkosaan. And all these as a deliberate action??? Aksi yang terencana? Dont even bull shit me about the noble goal afterward... menurut saya mereka, para militan itu, adalah jahat, mereka adalah kotoran yang tidak pantas ada di muka bumi ini. Dan tujuan 'mulia' mereka adalah bullshit.

Betapa kompleksnya posisi perempuan pada society itu! I tell you, pada society dimana... katakanlah... perempuan tidak dianggap sebagai pihak yang dikriminalisasi dalam kasus-kasus perkosaan, hal ini akan sulit untuk terjadi. However, mata dan telinga saya rasanya belum berhenti mem-perceive kasus-kasus semacam ini. Mungkin perlu dekonstruksi besar-besaran pada mindset society itu, untuk bisa menghentikan kasus pendiskreditan perempuan semacam ini terjadi berulang kali.

Anda bisa lihat berita tentang Um al-Mumenin di:
http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2009/02/03/65643.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090203/ts_afp/iraqunrestarrest
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7869570.stm

Um al-Mumenin (Mother of the Believers)

2009-02-04T23:07:00.001-08:00

Um al-Mumenin (Mother of the Believers)

2009-02-04T23:07:00.000-08:00

Saya bingung harus bereaksi apa ketika membaca berita tentang perempuan yang menyebut dirinya sendiri sebagai Um al-Mumenin (Mother of the Believers) ini. Sedih? Ya, saya hampir menangis memikirkan nasib para perempuan yang menjadi korbannya. Marah? Pastinya, saya marah mengetahui bahwa ada orang yang sedemikian jahat di dunia ini. Terkejut? Sayangnya, tidak juga. Saya terlalu banyak membaca, dan melihat, dan mendengar, untuk mengetahui betapa banyak perempuan yang dibunuh oleh keluarganya sendiri atas nama kehormatan, dilarang mendapatkan edukasi, dilucuti hak-haknya dalam masyarakat, yang terjadi pada islamic society. Saya tidak menggeneralisasi, saya tahu bahwa tidak semua layer dalam Islamic society menempatkan perempuan pada posisi demikian, tapi begitu banyaknya kasus sedemikian yang terjadi, saya tidak terkejut lagi mengetahui adanya kejadian ini. Saya sedih, saya marah, tapi saya tidak terkejut.

Saya belajar untuk melihat betapa kompleksnya posisi perempuan di mata Islam. Hari ini, ketika saya membaca kasus Um al-Mumenin, kompleksitas posisi perempuan itu terpapar kembali di mata saya.

Samira Jassim, 51 tahun, telah ditangkap oleh polisi Irak tanggal 21 Januari kemarin. Atas tuduhan telah merekrut lebih dari 80 perempuan pelaku bom bunuh diri, serta turut merencanakan dan berpartisipasi dalam puluhan serangan militan di Irak. Samira Jassim menyebut dirinya sendiri Um al-Mumenin atau Mother of the Believers dan adalah anggota dari grup militan Islam, Ansar Al-Sunna.

Menurut pengakuannya, para militan memilih perempuan sebagai pelaku bom bunuh diri, karena mereka lebih mudah menyembunyikan explosives di balik burqa mereka, serta kerap lolos begitu saja dari pemeriksaan security officer yang mayoritas laki-laki.

Mother of the Believers memiliki pola dalam merekrut para 'pejuang' perempuannya. Peran 'keibuan' Jassim adalah untuk mempersuasi para korban perkosaan, para perempuan-perempuan yang bermasalah dalam rumah tangga, para perempuan korban kekerasan dalam menghadapi rasa depresi mereka, rasa malu mereka, dengan cara menawarkan menjadi suicide bomber sebagai satu-satunya jalan keluar. Sebagai satu-satunya metode redemption.

Dalam pengakuannya, ia juga menyebutkan, bahwa organisasi militannya juga menggunakan metode 'organized rape' atau perkosaan yang terorganisir untuk memperbanyak jumlah perempuan yang bisa 'jatuh' dalam persuasinya, untuk kemudian menjadi suicide bombers.

Mind you, people. Do you realize what that means? Artinya, mereka melakukan tindakan-tindakan perkosaan terencana, untuk menciptakan lebih banyak perempuan yang depresi. Dalam society dimana perkosaan dilihat sebagai KESALAHAN si korban, bisa dibayangkan betapa malu, betapa tersiksa, dan betapa tertekannya perempuan-perempuan yang menjadi korban perkosaan. And all these as a deliberate action??? Aksi yang terencana? Dont even bull shit me about the noble goal afterward... menurut saya mereka, para militan itu, adalah jahat, mereka adalah kotoran yang tidak pantas ada di muka bumi ini. Dan tujuan 'mulia' mereka adalah bullshit.

Betapa kompleksnya posisi perempuan pada society itu! I tell you, pada society dimana... katakanlah... perempuan tidak dianggap sebagai pihak yang dikriminalisasi dalam kasus-kasus perkosaan, hal ini akan sulit untuk terjadi. However, mata dan telinga saya rasanya belum berhenti mem-perceive kasus-kasus semacam ini. Mungkin perlu dekonstruksi besar-besaran pada mindset society itu, untuk bisa menghentikan kasus semacam ini terjadi tanpa henti.

Anda bisa lihat berita tentang Um al-Mumenin di:
http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2009/02/03/65643.html
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090203/ts_afp/iraqunrestarrest
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7869570.stm

hey you

2009-01-30T23:43:00.000-08:00

yes i'm bored

come on give me

that o

picture was taken from http://channelfrederator.ning.com/

pour toi part II (the thing is...)

2009-01-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

you can practically converse that out, tell me anything, ask me just about anything, even one of those unimaginable things. or things that could got me scream and yell and shout and pout.

just let it out. sit down and talk.
don't say nothing.

you are something.
and i am something.
and we are something.

i told you i will try harder. i will try anything. i will try everything.

pour toi, mon cher, pour toi..

*picture was taken from http://francescacrescentini.wordpress.com/galleries/about/

pour toi

2009-01-22T00:47:00.000-08:00

you said that
i'm just like the rest
i am
i am
i'm just a girl
but for you
i can try
harder

picture was taken from http://static.photo.net

-------- Gumpalan Pikiran adalah Kuda Poni

2009-01-10T03:23:00.000-08:00

gumpalan pikiran itu seperti
kuda poni kecil binal nakal menari-nari
haus kelana tapi terkendara tali
karena terlalu bebas dia bisa mati

namun tak urung pula sesekali
jiwa jelajah liar terbang sendiri
di suatu sore dimana angin mengaburkan matahari
dan sitor situmorang mindik-mindik membisiki

...sereguk lagi aku mabuk akan gelegak cintamu...

maka berontak ia enggan satu dengan seisi sendi
gumpalan pikiran kuda poni kecil binal nakal tak tahu diri
melesat terbang tinggalkan bumi
untuk hinggap di pulau para illahi

menatapi kecil binal nakal itu pergi
para sendi pun meludah mengutuki sambil bernyanyi
pergilah kau pergi gumpalan pikiran yang memisahkan diri
kau bukan bagian dari kami lagi

----10/01/09, taman menteng

On Terrorisms

2009-01-01T14:52:00.000-08:00

The escalating conflicts of Israel-Palestine in Gaza had brought questions thrown to my face these couple of days. I've tried my best to explain, and today I read a note posted by one of my good friends, M. Haripin, which sorts of explain my stance why i think both sides need to meet the call of immediate cease-fire by the UN. As we know, Gabriela Shalev, the Israeli ambassador, said that her country would continue to do whatever necessary to protect itself against what she called terrorism (BBC, 1/1/09). Shalev refers to Hamas, obviously. Such claim has been the justification for Israel's continuing air raids, a claim which I think politically incorrect at its very core.

Here's a comprehensive writing of my friend, hopefuly it would sort of give an angle in explaining the conflicts happening in Gaza recently. It is written in Bahasa, but you can PM me if you need an english translation of the writing.

---------------------------

Terorisme di Israel

Sungguh memilukan apa yang tengah terjadi di tanah Palestina 2 hari terakhir ini. Lebih dari 300 warga Palestina tewas dan 600 warga lainnya terluka akibat serangan angkatan bersenjata Israel. Ribuan warga lainnya yang terkepung di Jalur Gaza ditolak memasuki perbatasan Mesir. Julukan sarkastik bagi Palestina, yakni “penjara terbesar di dunia,” mencapai manifestasinya.

***

Kali ini, sama seperti sebelumnya, dalih yang digunakan Israel untuk melakukan serangan adalah demi melumpuhkan kekuatan militer Hamas. Dalam law of armed conflict (LOAC), dalih Israel ini disebut reprisals. Sebelumnya, dalih reprisals pernah diutarakan Israel guna melangsungkan serangan militer ke Beirut, Libanon pada 1969.

Berdasarkan LOAC, reprisals merupakan tindakan melawan hukum apabila tidak memenuhi tiga kondisi berikut ini: (a) sebelumnya, negara pelaku reprisals harus terbukti menderita kerugian akibat tindakan ilegal yang dilakukan negara/aktor lain; (b) negara bersangkutan tidak mendapatkan kompensasi atau permintaan maaf atas kerugian yang dideritanya; (c) negara bersangkutan melakukan pembalasan yang proporsional.

Dalam serangan kali ini, kondisi 1 dan 2 terpenuhi. Israel memang menderita kerugian atas serangan roket kelompok Hamas. Israel pun tidak mendapatkan kompensasi atas kerugian yang dideritanya karena, (1) Hamas bukanlah aktor negara; (2) Hamas tidak berniat untuk berdamai dengan Israel.

Problem timbul dalam kondisi ketiga. Apakah Israel melakukan pembalasan yang proporsional? Saya pikir tidak. Serangan udara massif oleh 60 pesawat tempur Israel terhadap daerah yang dihuni oleh 1.5 juta penduduk dan pengerahan 6500 tentara organik untuk melancarkan perang kota (urban warfare), dilihat dari sudut pandang manapun, bukanlah tindakan proporsional.

Operasi militer Israel kali ini, yang disebut Operation Cast Lead, malah melanggar 2 prinsip dasar dalam international humanitarian law (IHL), yakni indiscriminate dan menghindari collateral damage.

Pelanggaran terhadap indiscriminate, yakni serangan berhasil menewaskan korban sipil non-kombatan, dan bahkan turut meluluhlantakkan sekolah dan pasar. Ini bukan hal yang mencengangkan karena strategi serangan secanggih dan serapih apapun tentu tidak akan mampu menghindari korban sipil non-kombatan, apabila serangan dilancarkan ke daerah padat penduduk. Oleh karena itu, klaim Israel bahwa Operation Cast Lead diarahkan kepada Hamas adalah tidak valid. Alih-alih indiscriminate, Israel malah, “membakar gudang beras demi membunuh satu ekor tikus.”

Pelanggaran terhadap menghindari collateral damage, yakni serangan militer Israel menyebabkan kerusakan kepada infrastruktur publik yang seharusnya aman dari serangan, di antaranya adalah masjid di kamp pengungsian Jabaliya dan Universitas Islam di Gaza. Infrastruktur publik/sipil adalah tempat yang tidak boleh diserang, berdasarkan IHL. Lokasi dan tempat lainnya adalah dual-use target (tempat yang bisa digunakan untuk kepentingan sipil dan militer) dan cultural property (tempat/lokasi peninggalan kebudayaan).

Operation Cast Lead jelas problematik –untuk tidak menyebut “pelanggaran”- dalam kacamata hukum internasional. Di satu sisi, hukum internasional tidak terlepas dari sistem politik internasional yang anarki. Permintaan atas penghentian serangan dan penyelidikan atas pelanggaran hukum internasional mustahil terjadi apabila Israel masih didukung oleh Amerika Serikat. Terlebih lagi, Amerika Serikat bahkan turut menyalahkan Hamas yang dituduh memprovokasi Israel. Di sisi lain, masyarakat internasional yang di dalamnya ada PBB, Inggris, Prancis, Rusia, dan masyarakat Iran, Irak, serta Venezuela menginginkan serangan militer Israel segera dihentikan karena alasan kemanusiaan dan tidak memenuhi kondisi reprisals.

***

Dalam memahami serangan Israel saat ini, ada baiknya kita renungi kisah Alexander Agung dan bajak laut yang diceritakan oleh St. Agustinus ini (Chomsky: 2003). Suatu ketika, Alexander Agung bertanya kepada seorang bajak laut yang tertangkap, “Mengapa kamu berani mengacau lautan?” Bajak laut menjawab, “Mengapa kamu berani mengacau seluruh dunia? Karena aku melakukannya hanya dengan perahu kecil, aku disebut maling; kalian, karena melakukannya dengan kapal besar, disebut kaisar.” St. Agustinus menilai jawaban bajak laut itu, “Sangat bagus dan jitu.”

Operation Cast Lead menguatkan watak koersif Israel dalam menghadapi Palestina. Selain melalui instrumen koersif asimetris (tidak proporsional), Israel pun melakukan perang ideologi terhadap kelompok pembebasan Palestina, yakni menyematkan julukan “teroris/terorisme” bagi Hamas. Menarik untuk dicermati apa yang dinyatakan oleh Israel ini. Terorisme adalah, “... the deliberate creation and exploitation of fear through violence or the threat of violence in the pursuit of political change (Hoffman: 1998).” Berdasarkan definisi Hoffman, dan melihat serangan militer Israel yang tidak proporsional pada 2 hari terakhir ini, pihak yang lebih pantas untuk menyandang gelar “teroris” adalah Israel, bukan Hamas. Israel telah menciptakan dan mengeksploitasi rasa takut melalui kekerasan serta ancaman kekerasan demi mencapai perubahan politik.

-M HARIPIN-
Mahasiswa Pascasarjana Manajemen Pertahanan ITB-Cranfield University, UK.
(Artikel ini terbit di harian Seputar Indonesia (Sindo), Kamis 1 Januari 2009, rubrik Opini)

to sum up..

2008-12-31T18:35:00.000-08:00

.....fireworks gazing

.....absurd bands

....cork screw hunting

dan...

....rendang melankolis (or rather... rendang temperamental?)

I can't help it

2008-12-27T16:15:00.000-08:00

when i look at her

i am reminded

that

i

am

unreal

and

we are

surreal

but

what is

real

?

A day just like any other day

2008-12-25T16:54:00.000-08:00

no sangria in a park
nor feeding animals in a zoo

but i am a fat ass and your belly is bulliable
and we ride along our bycicles until we lose our breaths
upon all of our morbid sense of humors
we fell in love with the cobra guy with piercings on his brows

i got you an edible action figure of yourself
colorful fabric paints you got me to color my shoes
fingers twirling under thousands of movie screens
and silence, just countless of silence under the spell of our books

that night when i'm in a joplin confession
you were thinking of the biggest chunk of pork in town
glowing aurora in a night sky on the corner of my eye
and you said that all the star patterns are making sense

oh it's such a perfect day
i'm glad i spent it with you
just a perfect day
you just keep me hangin on
you just keep me hangin on

*picture was taken from http://smilinglotus.com/pedro/images/art-MonsterCouple.jpg
song by lou reed - perfect day

Perfect Day - Lou Reed

(happy anniversary warporcus!)

Colorful! He said.

2008-12-19T02:17:00.000-08:00

Earlier today, I asked him... "What is the first adjective that comes to your mind when you think of me?"

"Colorful. Even when you're wearing all black." He said.

And all of a sudden I got Rolling Stone's song in my head.
"She comes in colors ev'rywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
She comes in colors..."

Except that i DONT comb my hair. hahaha...

What is the first adjective comes to your mind when you think of me? :p

One Year Death of Aqsa Parvez - A victim of honor killing

2008-12-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

Actually, Aqsa's death was on 10th December, 2007. So this article I posted was late by a week. But the issue never cease to persist. A story of defiance, and oppressions. A young girl, killed by her father and brother for refusing to conform to the religious values her family upholds for life.

Aqsa, then a 16 years old girl of Pakistani origin living in Ontario, Canada, was killed after she refused to wear a hijab and declared her desire to define her own identity (that included wearing clothes she chose, which apparently angered her pious family). A cheerful person who had a passion for music and dance, Aqsa was deeply loved by her friends (even up to this day they never forget to put flowers on her un-named tombstone, i'll get into that later. And set up a foundation to help oppressed teenagers). After her death, many of her friends claimed that during her live, she refused to wear the veil and would often change her clothing once she got to school, then change them back before going home.

A newsbreak by CBC reporyting Aqsa's killing a year ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpV_cJ5E0wQ&feature=related

ABOVE: Picture of Aqsa's Gravesite
BELOW: Aqsa Parvez, 16 years old.

I told you I'll get back to the story of her tombstone. After that one year, the only thing remains from Aqsa, is just a number '774' crafted by the cemetery employee in the Meadowvale Cemetery, Brampton. No name, no birth date, no date of death. No nothing.

Tarek Fatah, founder of Muslim Canadian Congress and author of Chasing a Mirage who admitted that he was disgusted by the killing said "A victim of an honour killing is always left in an unmarked grave. Imagine caring more about your faith than your child? When this happens, it shows they don't give a damn about her and the fact a family has chosen to not put the name on a grave proves the point that they are embarrassed and gives an insight into honour killings."

Other said that the grave has no headstone because neither the family nor the community wanted one for her. Aqsa's family adopted a Wahabi belief, which are said to be against headstones. They claim it is worshipping the dead, which was forbidden by the religion.

Whatever the reason is, Aqsa's resting place is kept anonymous by her family, probably also as a symbol stressed by her sanctimonious community to deny her short-lived existence of non-conformity. The whole concept has became too familiar for me here, in our country... where the religious authority begun imposing values and tries to hush the non-conformists with violence, even with legal law...

Our UU-Anti Pornografi has been legitimized, it's now legal in our country to punish and criminalize woman who defy that pseudo-concept of virtuous clothing. I'm now counting the days where there will be more cases like Aqsa's here happening in our country. It may happen in ten years, it may happen in five years, or as short as tomorrow (remember, after the fall of Shah it only took Iran two years to become a nation full of religious fascists and their sick religious implementations), for all I know, it WILL happen. If we don't do anything about it. Are we going to defy?

Take me to the barbershop again!

2008-12-10T04:06:00.000-08:00

I dont understand why boys dislike waiting for their girlfriend in hair salon so much.
Really, I dont. Isn't there so much to see while you guys are waiting?
I mean, today is the first time he asked me to accompany him to a barber shop and I realize that any other time he would pop the same question, I would most definitely answer with "hell yeah baby, count me in!".

I had fun! What not to like? Looking at boys being pampered and groomed... had their short frowzled hair being trimmed cautiously... got their barber chair tilted backward while the barber carefully smearing the creamy looking shaving cream on their cheeks and chins... seeing them closing their eyes as the sharp knife slowly move up and down on their skins...

What not to like? :p When I finally walked outside the barber shop I feel like I had just been bathed with pheromones.

Hahahah. I'm sick, I know.

Take me to the barbershop again!

2008-12-10T04:04:00.000-08:00

a trip to the gynecologist

2008-12-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

Have you ever paid a gynecologist a visit? Oh, you are not blessed with womb and vagina? Very well, that's understandable. But when you are among the blessed ones, and you happen to be twenty something, going to a gynecologist should be something that you do at least once in a year. It's not just a matter if you are sexually active, the ovarian cancer, or often called the silent lady killer, could happen to anyone. The youngest case of ovarian cancer was a girl of 8 years old, scientists now are encouraging more and more routine gynecologist visit to young girls, in order to be able to detect and combat early sign of cancer.
So I really dont see anything wrong with going to gynecologist. Hell, it's my frickin vagina, and I have a full right to maintain it and to gain any information I want regarding my reproduction organ. But of course that positively happy view doesnt go very well in most Indonesian hospitals. Why? Because I'm not married.
This is the typical procedural questions you will hear when you go to a gynecologist:

# Mrs... or Ms?

# When was the last time you had an intercourse?

# Why aren't you married?

I can still tolerate the first question. Oh well maybe they need such information for database or administrational purpose. The second question is just a normal basic procedural question asked by gynecologist, so I dont complain, really. But the third??? WTF? Like, I dont think whatever answer I would give them would be relevant to sniff out any type of cancer they need to make a diagnose. Pfff... so next time you ever go to a gynecologist and he or she asks you the third question, just smile to them and answer:
"Because I love watermelon and ladybugs and blowing out spit bubbles."
A wonderful way to show how you understand your doctor, that is, his or her interest of playing the random question-answer game.

PS: Recently, warporcus showed me this link: http://insideindonesia.org/content/view/1150/47/ a terrible story about how fucked up our health system in Indonesia. No surprise, seriously. When irrelevant question has become a part of the standard procedural thrown by the supposedly-scholars, I know something seriously freaky is going on with the system.

Guys, I'm looking for a place to stay... :p

2008-12-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

So the office is moved to a new den, at Jl. Panglima Polim 10 no.14 (depan Takigawa, belakang Apotik Jaya). Lalu saya berpikir untuk mencari tempat tinggal baru untuk bernaung. Kos-kosan, paviliun sederhana atau kontrakan yang deket-deket situu... ada yang bisa bantuuu?

What I'm looking for:
- Luas ruangan (kalo berupa kamar kosan) minimum 4x4, atau cukup decent kalau dihuni dua orang...
- Kamar mandi di dalam
- AC (kalo bisa ada hot water juga hehehe...)
- Biaya per bulan dibawah 1.3 juta
- Lingkungan sekitar nggak rese (I hate nosy neighbourhood...)

Any recommendations, guys?

We need your HELP! The government is barbaricly killing cats and dogs in the street!

2008-11-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

"Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote." ~ Paul Harvey, American Radio Commentator

Dari Kompas, Dinas Peternakan, Perikanan dan Kelautan (Disnakkanla) DKI Jakarta akan melakukan razia kucing dan anjing liar yang dianggap mengganggu lingkungan di Jakarta. Katanya, kucing dan anjing liar ini populasinya udah berlebihan sehingga bahkan banyak terlihat di puskesmas, kantor pemerintahan dan istana negara. Penyelesaiannya? Seperti yang ditegaskan oleh kepala Disnakkanla, Edy Setiarto, anjing dan kucing liar ini terancam dibunuh.

A friend of mine told me that recently she watched on tv, bagaimana anjing dan kucing liar ditangkapi. Mereka ditangkap pake jaring terus dilempar gitu aja ke bak. Bahkan ada yang sampai berdarah-darah. Nasib selanjutnya? Maybe there'll go straight to the death chamber :(

And that's just typical! Keputusan-keputusan yang gampangan dan barbar memang rajin sekali dikeluarkan oleh pemerintah kita. I mean, negara kita sampai sekarang nggak pernah punya shelter yang benar-benar decent dan terorganisir dengan baik oleh pemerintah untuk mengurusi masalah hewan-hewan liar seperti anjing dan kucing. Ada sih, di Ragunan, tapi bahkan di sana pun hewan-hewan terancam dibunuh karena nggak ada yang mengadopsi.. Lantas, begitu populasi hewan liar mulai tidak terkontrol dan 'mengganggu' mereka di kantor-kantor pemerintahan atau istana negara, mereka dengan gampangnya ngambil solusi untuk 'bunuh-bunuhin aja!'

Padahal, sekiranya pemerintah kita cukup cerdas, populasi anjing dan kucing itu justru bisa dikontrol dengan baik dengan adanya shelter-shelter itu. Mereka disterilisasi dan dirawat serta bisa diadopsi oleh orang-orang yang menginginkan mereka. But no, tentu saja. Seperti yang saya kutip di awal entry ini, mana perduli pemerintah sama isu beginian, binatang kan nggak punya hak pilih dalam pemilu! Nggak punya hak pilih ---> nggak bisa jadi suara tambahan yang nganterin mereka ke kursi empuk ruang berAC dimana mereka bisa terbuai-buai sambil mengeruk duit rakyat.

And i'm so angry, i really am. Because sometimes I think, in this world of the fucked ups, those animals are so far better than human. As Mark Twain accurately put "Of all the creatures, man is the most detestable. He is the only creatures that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that can not." Plus, seriously, I know some people who has poorer brain capacity than a mused mice, those religious militants, for instance. I would rather have myself surrounded by thousands of cats and dogs than having one of those stupid religious around.

So what can we do about it, friends? Well, razia masih berlanjut dan teman-teman kita di iCARE membuat petisi untuk diteruskan kepada pemerintah DKI Jakarta. Lo bisa ikutan petisi ini untuk menunjukkan kepedulian lo dan mencegah lebih banyak lagi kucing-kucing dan anjing-anjing yang disakiti secara barbar oleh pemerintah. Lebih lanjut, ini bisa jadi langkah awal untuk menegaskan kepada pemerintah akan perlunya pengadaan shelter untuk mengatur permasalahan hewan liar, termasuk masalah penyakit dan populasi.

Ini surat yang mereka buat untuk pemerintah. Lo bisa kopi paste surat di bawah ini dan kirimkan langsung kedki@jakarta.go.id atau ke www.bangfauzi.com di bagian 'surat anda'. Atau lo bisa tulis sendiri uneg2 lo pada pemerintah dan kirimkan langsung ke alamat tersebut. Jangan lupa CC surat yang dikirim ke iCARE di alamat icareask@yahoo.com agar jumlah surat yang terkirim bisa didata oleh mereka.

Ini contoh surat dari iCARE untuk pemerintah:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yth Pemerintah DKI Jakarta

Bersama surat ini saya menyatakan keberatan saya dan segenap pecinta satwa selaku Warga Negara Indonesia atas rencana Dinas Peternakan dan Perikanan DKI Jakarta yang berencana untuk memusnahkan anjing dan kucing jalanan sbb :
http://www.kompas.com/read/xml/2008/11/28/20003284/anjing.dan.kucing.liar.di.jakarta.akan.dirazia

Kami menyadari bahwa hewan jalanan dalam jumlah besar akan menimbulkan penyakit dan ketidaknyamanan bagi masyarakat, namun pembunuhan BUKAN lah jalan untuk mengatasi kelebihan populasi satwa jalanan.

Bayangkan ketika anda sudah membunuh mereka, namun tetap saja pemilik satwa yang tidak bertanggung jawab membuang satwa peliharaan ke jalan dan mereka kembali berkembang biak maka anda harus mengadakan pembunuhan massal LAGI tidak lama kemudian.

Pembunuhan memang mudah, namun tidak efektif dan menunjukkan perilaku samasekali tidak menghargai kehidupan. Anda bekerja atas nama bangsa Indonesia dan mewakili kami semua, dan apabila kejadian ini sungguh terjadi samasaja dengan mempermalukan kami dan bangsa ini.

Suatu metode untuk mengatasi permasalahan kelebihan populasi satwa jalanan yang kami anjurkan adalah dengan STERILISASI untuk mencegah lahirnya satwa yang harus tersia-sia hidupnya dijalanan.

Dengan catatan, kegiatan sterilisasi diawasi oleh pihak swasta/ LSM yang bergerak di bidang kesejahteraan satwa ( animal welfare) untuk menjamin bahwa prosedur yang digunakan sesuai dengan kaidah dalam kesejahteraan satwa .
Dengan sterilisasi maka satwa tidak akan berkembang biak dan apabila masih ada satwa yang terlewatkan untuk disterilpun, perkembangbiakan akan terhambat karena kebanyakan satwa di jalanan sudah disteril.

Bagi yang sudah terlanjur ada di jalan, sebaiknya dilakukan vaksinasi rabies secara berkala apabila masih ada ketakutan akan penyakit rabies, walaupun pulau Jawa sudah bebas rabies seperti yang telah diketahui bersama.

Dan juga himbauan dan sanksi tegas bagi para pemilik satwa yang membuang satwa di jalanan.

Semoga Jakarta dapat menjadi contoh bagi Disnak Propinsi lain sebagai Badan Pemerintah yang bermoral.

Demikian surat kami selaku pecinta satwa sekaligus Warga Negara Indonesia, semoga diperhatikan dan ditindaklanjuti sebagaimana mestinya.

Salam,
( Nama Terang)
(Alamat Rumah)
(no Telp)
(atau apasaja yang bisa membuktikan bahwa anda nyata)

" Kebesaran suatu bangsa dan perkembangan moralnya dapat dilihat melalui perlakuan mereka terhadap satwa. " Mahatma Gandhi

" The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animal are treated. " Mahatma Gandhi.

_______________________________________________________________

Kirimkan dan sebarkan sebanyak-banyaknya, teman-teman! Terima kasih sudah membantu...

Good night, good repose o good swines!

2008-11-28T06:04:00.000-08:00

Now, unto thy blanket good night!
Whilst that this shadow, o me swine lord,
Doth such substance give
For I, me lord,
Locked hereth in me own chamber,
Thus far from the chamber where thou liest.
When in dead night, retire we upon solitary
Me shade, o noble swine,
Shalt hold thee till it be fair morrow
For thou mayst see daylight,
Which lead thee forth, o brave swine,
Unto me sweet kiss, the golden sun gives not.

Change in the weather

2008-11-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

There's a change in the weather
Heard it's coming soon
There's a change in the weather
Hope this gets to you
Here's to everyone, sing along

There's a change in the weather
Don't know where to go
There's a change in the weather
Don't go to work
Here's what we say, sing along
Here's what we do, sing along

When it's closing in we're gonna hold you
And whisper sweet melodies in your ear
So you never feel lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely

*songs by The Concretes,
picture was taken from http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg127/jessewesse_love/sunshine.jpg

Morning wake up call

2008-11-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

Is the world too fucked up to apply the concept of peace and understanding?
Is that such a utopic and alien concept?

I dont understand why there are too many evil people around... :(

Good morning, folks. Hope you all have a good day. Hope you all would wish each and everyone of you happiness during the day and security during the night.
Hope you all would allow at least a tiny space in your corrupted little brain to think of enlighten yourself.

Mari menyembah bambu :)

2008-11-25T04:34:00.000-08:00

Ah, setelah berhari2 terjerat diskusi awut-awutan namun menarik nian di blog ini saya jadi menyadari kalo semesta ini begitu kaya. Bagaimana tidak? tulisan mbeling si empunya blog itu berhasil mengundang berjenis-jenis makhluk yang membuat saya terheran-heran. Para Islam radikalis berdatangan? ah itu mah ketebak. Datang pihak-pihak yang keukeuh bahwa Islam sekarang berada di jaman kegelapan? Saya sudah sering dengar argumen mereka. Tapi baru tadi malam saya bertemu spesies baru, yak! dia itu adalah spesies MURTAD JUMAWA.
Hahaha... lucu sekali. Saya sampai tergelak-gelak. Tambahan lagi dia sangat seksis dan terobsesi pula dengan agama saya, yang menurut saya berada dalam ranah personal. Tapi saya cukup baik hati mengizinkan dia membaca2 blog saya, siapa tahu dapat pencerahan dengan main tebak-tebakan buah manggis, apa agama saya sebenarnya.
Saya terheran-heran, dan jadi terlibat pembicaraan maha serius yang menyebabkan kepala saya hampir pecah rasanya karena dipaksa berpikir terlalu keras, dengan seorang teman saya, veniestlavie.

veniestlavie: Emang agama lo apaan nyet? Hahaha... kayanya keukeuh bener tu orang pengen tau agama lo. Dia pengen ngebuktiin kalo agama lo itu salah kali nyet. Dia murtad jumawa kan? Mungkin dia punya segala macem argumen buat mentahin agama lo...
silencedmekare: ..... agama gue? Duh... sebenernya gak enak gini gue bilangnya... agama gue...namanya.... Palalishakaratendhura...
veniestlavie: HAHAHAHAH. Tolol lo. Dasar bitchy keparat. agama lo nyembah bambu ya?
silencedmekare: iya, ritual sembahyangnya main suling. makanya gue keberatan sama UU AP soalnya kalo lagi niup suling gue harus sambil egol egol. gue merasa terancam dengan keberadaan UU itu...
veniestlavie: ahahaha... bisaaa bisaaa...
silencedmekare: dewi suling gue namanya Ventjerooshka.
veniestlavie: bagus, bagus...
silencedmekare: nabi gue namanya robert...
veniestlavie: ah kurang eksotis itu mah. gimana kalo nabi lo namanya Bolis Kleepertart?
silencedmekare: AHAHAHAHA. tolol lo! iya emang itu namanya. ahahahaha...
silencedmekare: actually Bolis Kleepertart itu bukan nabi, dia dewa yang mengatur semua persebaran tahi lalat di muka bumi ini.
veniestlavie: Bwahahahahaha... nyet nyet, hewan suci lo adalah babi... babi dengan tiga mata... pose andalannya yang kaya Buddha tidur itu nyet...
silencedmekare: Iya terus di perut babi tiga mata itu terpatri dengan indah gambar Dewi Ventjeeroshka dan Dewa Bolis Klepeertart. Semuanya mengetengahkan pemujaan suci terhadap bambu, nyet.
veniestlavie: mwahahaha...

Jadi, ada yang tertarik menyembah bambu seperti saya? Saya tidak memaksa loh... kan 'bagiku agamaku dan bagimu agamamu'? :p

The First Sex Talk

2008-11-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

Really funny. Hahaha. This was happened back in those days when got created the first two humans on earth, and thought, well... the world needs to be less dependent on him and the two needs to know how to make more humans by themselves...

I got it from http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763617

So this is what was happened back then...
God nervously paces back and forth in front of Adam and Eve.

God: We need to talk. You've both have been alive for a full three weeks now, and you may have started to notice certain, um, urges when you're around each other.

The two stare blankly.

God: Let me start over. You know the birds and the bees?

Adam: I named them both. So?

God: You're right, that metaphor doesn't help or even make sense. To try another tack - there are only two of you. What if we wanted more?

Adam: I guess you could take another of my ribs, but that really hurt and now I whistle when I breathe.

God: Right! Well, if you love each other very much and decide to spend the rest of your lives with each other-

Eve: As opposed to whom?

God: Here, the angels gave me these diagrams. Maybe they help?

Adam: Oh THAT? We've been doing that for weeks! It's great!

Eve: Yeah! Wait, what's this next part? Is- Is that a little Adam? You put a little you inside me?!?

Adam: I did that? I am the man!

God: Technically, that's true.

Eve: Do I have to do the thing with the new Adam, too?

Adam: But- I thought you enjoyed the thing!

Eve: I do, but, um, God said we should only use it for making more you's. Or maybe me's. Any other time really pisses him off.

God: I did not say that.

Adam: Fine. What about that other, more complicated thing we tried? The one that doesn't make people?

Eve: Yeah, he's definitely against that one.

Adam: Well, heck, maybe I'll just go do it with one of the lions! How about that?

God: I can't believe you're making such a huge deal out of this simple,natural thing. Forget it. I'm not even going to tell you about super-orgasms.

Adam: Wait, what?

God disappears in a flash of lightning.

Adam: That was weird. Want to do the thing?

Eve: Is that all you think about?

---------------------

*cartoon by Andre Kepple

After years...

2008-11-21T04:55:00.000-08:00

and years of perceiving things from my head. Masih aja, this tic-toc-tic this very second, daku berasa di judge.
Ah.
Gak asik.
Besok aja yah daku lanjutin, daku udah mau pingsan gara2 di depan komp mulu dari jam 10 pagi.
Adieu.

Sometimes I wish...

2008-11-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

I could just shut up the bitch in me. Life seems so much unruffled for damsels in distresses.
Singing melodious tunes with chirping birds, admiring butterflies, and batting eyelashes. I can do that, hell who cant? Well maybe not singing melodious tunes, but I can do the numa numa dance and what's with being contented with it?

Maybe it was such a delution, after all. A marionette on the hand of one amused puppetteer, you really cant overact your role. That would upset the hands above, that would got you in the box.

And who am I preaching about logic and rationality and common sense and noble efforts for humankinds, when after all, I'm just a drama whore?
Lost again. I'm such a weakling. When can I learn to be all stiffy and firm?
I mean seriously, i shouldnt try too hard on this, a drama whore, an overly sensitive girl with this big thumping heart should just stay behind the line. Then she wont slip.

Boohoo. I hate being a gemini. It's like having two bipolar neurotics screaming at the same time in my head.

I would feel the same even if you're a New Age Tyrant

2008-11-17T14:15:00.000-08:00

It's started as a big kaboom, and it was never been the same again right here. *pointing head* hear the sound of cuckocachoo there. Because I'm confused right now.
Call me a frickin useless dove, but it was like:
"Babe I'm a proud Salaafi."
"Fuck. Not funny."
Fucking Saalafi, I shudder with disgust for radicalists. Any form of it. I hate how they utilize the airy content in their hollow numbskulls to destroy culture and humankind. I hate how they use mono-interpretation towards everything. What's so wrong with hermeneutics anyway?
Any darn Durka durka jihadist, christian fundamentalist, atheist oppressor, buddhist fascist if there's any, fuck... even zoroastrian hardwing or even if you're a new age tyrant imposing cultural imperialism of your yada yada LOHAS (Lifestyle of Health and Sustainability) for every fucking one in this universe, I would feel the same loathe.
Enlight me, I'm confused of your proudness.

When things are bursting

2008-11-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

I'm a busy bee :D Having fun at it too. No I cant write much right now, because my head's currently pounding with creative bubbles bursting out helplessly to be poured out. love it love it love it.
Projects projects projects projects!!!
I'm currently editing an art book, right now, a mighty interesting one too. It is ought to be published in Singapore before it is released here, and though the I'm sure the editing part will be really challenging, the artist had asked me to make several poems and limericks to be put for the bridging of the artwork. yippieee!
And then there's this book I'm currently working on for one publisher, my personal project! Soooo fun, I am given freedom to explore anything, to combine different approaches, art forms, and writing style for the book! I'm feeling ecstatic cause I have never done anything like this before.
And then also this new 'special project' from my office, where I'm currently in charge. Challenge! Challenge! Challenge! Love it, really!
Not to mention, I'm now crazy in sketching here, sketching there, crafting this, crafting that. Not much, really. But the idea is overflowing like crazy. Thanx to Ika for that! Hehe... she's such an inspiration
And what can I say, dear dearie, I say I'm in love with life that is! yippipihiii!

Happy Pills

2008-11-05T04:59:00.000-08:00

Some girls are nightmarish when it comes to PMS-ing. Dont ask me why, it just happens. Rather nonsensically amusing, actually, even to myself.

Boyfriend: What happened to your eyes? They're bloodshot.
Girlfriend: Dust.
Boyfriend: Is it contagious? Shall I keep a distance? +move three steps away+
Girlfriend: D-U-S-T. Screw you. +giving the evil eyes+
Boyfriend: O-oh, someone forgot to swallow her happy pills* today.
Girlfriend: I dont swallow pills. I grind them with my teeth.
Boyfriend: You should grind those happy pills then. Alarming state, this is.
Girlfriend: Is that a permission to grind you?
Boyfriend: Most certainly. +grin+ Start with my nose. Itchy.

*backsound: cute 'aaaaahhwwww....' from the audience*

mwahahahah....

* I actually in prescription on some hormonal pills, to treat my irregular menstrual cycle. The pills have some kind of side effects, though, they gave me mood swings, but most of the time it's a 'happy swing', so I call them 'happy pills'.

They look so weird it's tempting...

2008-10-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend: You want that, dont you?
Girlfriend: Why would you think so?
Boyfriend: Your eyes practically beg for it.
Girlfriend: They dont!
Boyfriend: They do.
Girlfriend: No!
Boyfriend: It’s okay, I can understand, you know. You can just say it to me.
Girlfriend: Well... maybe...
Boyfriend: Uh-huh! Yep! See... I know you want it! It’s okay, just say it!
Girlfriend: It’s just like... they look... so weird... so weird that it’s... tempting...
Boyfriend: It’s okay. I understand. You want it now?
Girlfriend: No...
Boyfriend: Yes yoouuuu areeee...
Girlfriend: I’m too ashamed to say yes...
Boyfriend: You want me to say it for you? Yes. Yes. Yes.
Girlfriend: Fine! Yes.
Boyfriend: Hahahaha... okay, I’ll buy them.

Two deformed hand-puppet ducks.
Sold in the street.
If you press the button inside the duck’s mouth, it’ll squeak, followed by the sudden outroll of the tongue.
Amazing.
They look so ugly and weird, so deformed and wrong, I cant resist buying them.

Duck 1: Weeeeeeeeeeeeee
Duck 2: Weeeeeeeeeeeeee

Girlfriend: Now, what are we gonna do with them?
Boyfriend: I dont know. I’ll carry them around and each time you nag I’ll ‘weee’ them on your face.
Girlfriend: Likewise.
Boyfriend: Likewise.

PS: I’ll post the picture of the ducks later on. The connection seems to hopeless to upload a picture :)

Life i love you :)

2008-10-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

slow down
you move too fast
you've got to make the moment last
just
kickin kickin down
the cobble stones
lookin for fun
and feelin groovy
kickin kickin down
the cobble stones
lookin lookin for fun
and feelin groovy

"hello lamp-post, what ya knowin? i've come to watch your flowers growin'
aint cha got no rhymes for me, do-it-do-do, feelin groovy..."

got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
i'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
let the morning time drop all its petals on me

life, i love you
all is groovy

all is groovy :)

nyung... nyung... nyung...
i'm feelin intoxicated... :D

lyric: Feelin Groovy - Free Design
image: www.creativethursday.typepad.com

Once Fiona Said That if You Don't Have A Song To Sing Just Hum It

2008-10-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

Words will never kill me
And I am not worried about
Things that people would say
Over things that people have said
About me
Erased account?
I can make a new one
Fallen tears?
I have boxes of tissue
Friends who don't stay friends?
I am not short of smiles to give away

Try me out, dear one
Throw me all those things
Curses
Manipulations
Lies
Evils
All poisonous words you said about me
In your page
or to your friends
or to my friends
or to my family

I shall go shalala
Darn Hyena
Such an inglorious-
Degrading-
Tasteless-
Shameful-
Weapon that you're using
I'll be dead ashamed if
I let those things harm me

What doesn't get me die
Gets me stronger :)

Tim Burton's Upcoming Film!

2008-09-22T22:52:00.000-07:00

My heart trembles with anticipation. It's been confirmed, Tim Burton is currently on the set for the making of the new Disney's project: ALICE IN WONDERLAND!

*gasp*

Yes, you heard me right. Personally I have always been fond of this Lewis Carroll's phantasmagorical work, and every time I re-read his works I always imagine Burton, one of my most favorite directors, transforming all those lustrously surreal images inside the story into some wicked live pictorial translations. As a matter of fact, I couldn't think of anyone else better capturing the tale's air of insanity.

So yes, the wish has been granted. The film is due to be released on March 2010. That long, I know. But being Burton's Bozo, my heart is faithfully stored. In the meantime, you can check up the updates in http://www.timburtoncollective.com/labels/alice%20in%20wonderland.html

Now, for the list of casts...
There are only few actors who are officially confirmed to play the roles, the rest are still to be kept confidential. Here are the officially confirmed actors:

Mia Wasikowska, an australian actor, as Alice.

Matt Lucas, the British comedian, as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

And here goes the rumored actors to play the roles in the film:

Vyelle Croom, the broadway actor, as the Cheshire Cat

And of course, the deliciously edible Mr. Depp, rumored to play the Mad Hatter...

Dan tentu saja saya harus memilih gambar akang jonih yang itu... kikikikik... nyam nyam... dia tampak sangat edible bukan... kikikik...

Apa Kabar para Penegak Keadilan Seksual (PKS)?

2008-09-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

Saya kutip yah pernyataan ketua fraksi kalian di gedung perwakilan rakyat itu... yang nampaknya, haruskah saya mendeklarasikan diri saya sebagai bukan rakyat negeri ini, karena saya sama sekali tidak merasa terwakili dengan rancangan iseng-iseng yang kalian inih...
Di DetikNews, Ketua Fraksi PKS, Mahfudz Siddiq bilang kalo disahkannya RUU Pornografi ini merupakan hadiah terindah bagi PKS di Bulan Ramadan ini. Ia pun meminta agar publik tidak lagi disibukkan dengan perdebatan norma, namun fakta sosial yang harus diperhatikan...

Fakta sosial gerangan apa kah, pak Mahfudz? Bahwa dengan adanya UU ini nantinya saya dapat saja tersubjektifikasi dan terkriminalisasi sebagai perempuan? Coba lihat saja definisi pornografi yang ada di RUU inih:

Pasal 1:

*Dalam Undang-Undang ini yang dimaksud dengan:

1.Pornografi adalah materi seksualitas yang dibuat oleh manusia dalam
bentuk gambar, sketsa, ilustrasi, foto, tulisan, suara, bunyi, gambar
bergerak, animasi, kartun, syair, percakapan, gerak tubuh, atau bentuk
pesan komunikasi lain melalui berbagai bentuk media komunikasi dan/atau
pertunjukan di muka umum, yang dapat membangkitkan hasrat seksual
dan/atau melanggar nilai-nilai kesusilaan dalam masyarakat.

Hasrat seksual siapakah? Apakah ini artinya nanti saya dan teman2 saya sudah nggak bisa melakukan gerakan-gerakan senam pat pat gulipat kami yang penuh goyangan-goyangan pantat nan menyehatkan jiwa? Apakah kami akan dianggap melakukan tindakan kriminal karena menyampaikan pornografi? Hasrat seksual itu batasannya sangat kabur, bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu. Perlu diketahui kalau saya sendiri suka merasa merinding2 disko mendadak kalo melihat cowok2 berjenggot seperti Shavo Odadijan, si bassist-nya SoaD itu. Lalu bagaimana kalo begitu, kalian yang bersorban dan berbaju putih itu pun tanpa kecuali harus mencukur atau memberangus jenggot kalian karena bisa membangkitkan hasrat seksual?

Lalu ada lagi larangan meminjamkan atau mengunduh pornografi (ada di pasal 5), berikut larangan memperdengarkan, mempertontonkan, memanfaatkan, memiliki atau menyimpan produk pornografi (seperti yang ada di pasal 6).

Dan ini artinya pemerintah luarbiasa isengnya sudah memasuki wilayah personal saya. Sekiranya saya punya berfolder-folder dalam komputer saya berisikan posisi-posisi kamasutra atau seks tantra atau latihan senam striptease-nya Carmen Electra, maka pemerintah bisa menjadikan saya pelaku kriminal? Padahal folder-folder itu kan sekiranya saya pakai untuk keperluan memberikan siraman rohani saya, urusan kesehatan (orang latihan senam striptease-nya emang beneran buat senam…), dan ilmu pengetahuan saya yang siapa tau bakal kepake di masa depan. Ini wilayah pribadi, bukan? Saya tidak mau melompat ke dalam novelnya George Orwell, 1984, dimana pemerintah adalah big brother yang mengawasi saya sampai sudut terjeli sekalipun.

Belum lagi pasal 21 dan 22 yang bunyinya begini:

Pasal 21
Masyarakat dapat berperan serta dalam melakukan pencegahan terhadap pembuatan, penyebarluasan, dan penggunaan pornografi.

Pasal 22
(1) Peran serta masyarakat sebagaimana dimaksud dalam Pasal 21 dapat dilakukan dengan cara:
a. melaporkan pelanggaran Undang-Undang ini;
b. melakukan gugatan perwakilan ke pengadilan;
c. melakukan sosialisasi peraturan perundang-undangan yang mengatur tentang pornografi; dan
d. melakukan pembinaan kepada masyarakat terhadap bahaya dan dampak pornografi.

Nah! Ketebak banget kan kegilaan yang bakal terjadi! Bakal semakin senang lah pihak2 tertentu karena bisa mengobrak-abrik sana-sini, melakukan tindak kekerasan, atas nama ‘melakukan pembinaan kepada masyarakat terhadap bahaya dan dampak pornografi’. Sakit jiwa! Mereka pun akan bisa dengan jumawa bilang “TINDAKAN KAMI INI DIDUKUNG OLEH NEGARA! lihat saja pasal 22 ayat 1 poin d... kami melakukan PEMBINAAN kepada masyarakat!!!”

Pembinaan my ass…

Selamat deh buat Negara tolol yang malah ngasih payung hukum buat those self-proclaimed preman pribadi Tuhan…

Lewat blognya Felix, saya baca pernyataan berani seorang teman dari Relawan Komponen Rakyat Bali, Rudolf Dethu, yang menyuarakan perlawanannya akan RUU Pornografi yang bakal disahkan oleh DPR RI tanggal 23 September ini… I have to put his writing in my blog, karena gue mendukung penuh perjuangannya. Feel free untuk menyebarluaskan tulisan ini berikut attachement-attachementnya…

MELAWAN TIRANI: PEMBANGKANGAN MADANI DARI BALI

Sejawat Muda Indonesia,

Bisa jadi sebagian dari anda belum ngeh bahwa RUU Pornografi dan Pornoaksi (RUU PP)---dahulu bernama RUU Anti Pornografi dan Pornoaksi (RUU APP)---sedang melenggang menuju formalisasi. “Disahkannya RUU ini merupakan hadiah terindah bagi PKS di bulan Ramadan ini,” ujar ketua fraksi Partai Keadilan Sejahtera, Mahfud Siddiq.

Benar, pada 23 September 2008 pokok-pokok pikiran duhai misoginis bin kontra Bhinneka Tunggal Ika ini dijadwalkan naik kelas menjadi Undang Undang. Rupanya jajaran anggota legislatif yang merasa dirinya semulia wakil Tuhan (namun lebih mencuatkan kesan wakil Taliban), kumpulan manusia di Dewan Perwakilan Rakyat yang memposisikan dirinya setengah Nabi (namun lebih mencuatkan kesan setengah Wahabi---yang dipenuhi mimpi mentransformasi NKRI nan seru-heterogen menjadi persemakmuran Arab Saudi yang tandus-homogen), gerombolan kurang kerjaan lagi picik ini diam-diam terus mendorong agar regulasi absolut mengenai “pembenahan moral bangsa” bisa segera diberlakukan. Ya, sepak terjang kental syari’ah itu sejatinya tak pernah berhenti bergulir, cuma direm sebentar pembahasannya. Saat gemuruh perlawanan bingar dimana-mana---dipelopori dengan gagah berani oleh Rakyat Bali pada 2006---dengan cerdiknya tim perumus menghentikan sejenak manuver berkedok agama tersebut. Giliran kontroversi beringsut sepi, Balkan Kaplele beserta handai taulan Penegak Keadilan Seksual (PKS, ahem) mencuri-curi berangkat lagi. Dengan justifikasi: konstitusi tentu diperbaiki di sana-sini, jika perlu sekalian direkonstruksi.

Walau telah direvisi, jika diperhatikan dengan cermat, substansi dari RUU PP versi kini sami mawon, sama sebangun, segendang sepenarian dengan yang sebelumnya. Masih tunggalnada, menistakan pluralitas. Tetap diskriminatif, memarjinalkan kaum perempuan. Kukuh berpedoman pada parameter moral khas jaman batu.

Kerabat Puspawarna, kita jangan sudi dikencingi oleh segelintir cecunguk monokultur yang jelas-jelas khianat pada asas kebinekaan Nusantara tercinta. Sabang hingga Merauke adalah wilayah bertabur bianglala dengan bermacam suku pula budaya. Keberagaman harus diberi ruang, mutlak mesti dihormati.

Bersatupadu ayo bersama-sama hadang mahluk-mahluk purba alumnus sekolah jaman pra-sejarah yang masih saja memperlakukan wanita-wanita cantik-baik hati pujaan kita bak warga negara kelas dua, selalu menganggap sumber kemaksiatan di dunia melulu kaum hawa, terus-terusan meminggirkan gadis-gadis bening seolah seonggok daging, sekadar hewan pecundang---menyuruhnya menutupi auratnya, membungkus tiap jengkal tubuh indahnya bagai membungkus benda mati---agar para lelaki tak terangsang (!) …Hey, kenapa justru bukan para adam dari era dinosaurus itu saja yang merantai-lalu-menggembok penis sifilisnya?

Cegah tangkal itikad aparat masuk merapat ke ruang privat. Urusan buah zakar memekar, vagina berliur, erotika tempat tidur, perkara senggama, ngapain juga pakai acara diatur negara segala??!!

Harus, serempak kita muncrati sperma, kaku tirani bertopeng religi ini.
Harus, serentak kita ludahi ampas pejuh, belenggu ideologi idiot ini.
Harus, kompak kita berangus menuju lubang anus, bentuk penyeragaman oh-ketinggalan jaman ini.
Harus, sontak kita lawan berpedang logika, semua pembodohan sistematis ini.

Sebab walau berbeda-beda, tetapi kita tetap satu. Demi senantiasa jayanya kemajemukan bernama INDONESIA.

Merdeka Menjadi Bianglala,
RUDOLF DETHU
Relawan Komponen Rakyat Bali

*Pagi ini, Komponen Rakyat Bali bahu-membahu bersama eksponen lain di Bali mengadakan rapat besar untuk menajamkan gerakan perlawanan. Saya akan kabari terus perkembangannya. Silakan surati saya jika anda berminat bergabung, demi kemaslahatan Bhinneka Tunggal Ika, tanah air tercinta milik kita semua: INDONESIA.

*Perhatikan transkrip adu argumen antara kaum Pro vs Kontra RUU PP di TV One, jelas sekali tergambar seberapa rendah kualitas intelektual itu kongsi pembela RUU PP. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Transkrip Debat).

*Baca seksama Rancangan Undang Undang Pornografi dan Pornoaksi. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Pasal Demi Pasal).

*Ketahui juga pernyataan sikap Komponen Rakyat Bali. Materi terlampir (Pernyataan Sikap KRB).

*Simak rangkaian perspektif lugas-tajam dari Fauzie, aktivis LBH Apik Jakarta. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Fauzie).

Serta surat dari Jaringan Kerja Prolegnas Pro Perempuan (JKP3) yang dengan amat mudahnya mengungkap borok tengik dari RUU PP. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - JKP3).

*Berita yang berhubungan, materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Berita)

*Komentar ketua Fraksi PKS, Ahmad Siddiq, yang bersemangat sekali segera meratifikasi RUU PP agar segala perda berbau syari’ah punya payung hukum. Klik http://www.detiknews.com/read/2008/09/15/094337/1006146/10/ruu-pornografi-disahkan-23-september-pdip-dan-pds-lepas-tangan (kemudian lanjutkan dengan artikel-artikel terkait di bawahnya)

*Kilas balik, blog yang khusus dibangun demi melawan RUU APP silakan klik http://jiwamerdeka.blogspot.com/

Apa Kabar para Penegak Keadilan Seksual (PKS)?

2008-09-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

Pasal 1:

*Dalam Undang-Undang ini yang dimaksud dengan:

Belum lagi pasal 21 dan 22 yang bunyinya begini:

Pembinaan my ass…

Selamat deh buat Negara tolol yang malah ngasih payung hukum buat those self-proclaimed preman pribadi Tuhan…

Judul diatas itu juga saya kutip dari tulisannya Rudolf... ppfff... Penegak Keadilan Seksual? Keadilan untuk siapa sih? Untuk otong kalian semua yang selalu lompat-lompat kegirangan tanpa bisa kalian kendalikan? Face it, my dear, kalo tu otong gak bisa lo kendalikan, jadi eunuch saja... potong habis, dan keep your rules off my body...

I have to put his writing in my blog, karena gue mendukung penuh perjuangannya. Feel free untuk menyebarluaskan tulisan ini berikut attachement-attachementnya…

MELAWAN TIRANI: PEMBANGKANGAN MADANI DARI BALI

Sejawat Muda Indonesia,

Cegah tangkal itikad aparat masuk merapat ke ruang privat. Urusan buah zakar memekar, vagina berliur, erotika tempat tidur, perkara senggama, ngapain juga pakai acara diatur negara segala??!!

Sebab walau berbeda-beda, tetapi kita tetap satu. Demi senantiasa jayanya kemajemukan bernama INDONESIA.

Merdeka Menjadi Bianglala,
RUDOLF DETHU
Relawan Komponen Rakyat Bali

*Baca seksama Rancangan Undang Undang Pornografi dan Pornoaksi. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Pasal Demi Pasal).

*Ketahui juga pernyataan sikap Komponen Rakyat Bali. Materi terlampir (Pernyataan Sikap KRB).

*Simak rangkaian perspektif lugas-tajam dari Fauzie, aktivis LBH Apik Jakarta. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Fauzie). Serta surat dari Jaringan Kerja Prolegnas Pro Perempuan (JKP3) yang dengan amat mudahnya mengungkap borok tengik dari RUU PP. Materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - JKP3).

*Berita yang berhubungan, materi terlampir (RUU Pornografi - Berita)

*Kilas balik, blog yang khusus dibangun demi melawan RUU APP silakan klik http://jiwamerdeka.blogspot.com/

Distraksi di Kala Deadline

2008-09-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

Saya sedang super duper kuper banyak sekali kerjaan hari ini. Banyaknya.. tak tertahankan, namanya juga hari-hari garis kematian. Namun, seperti biasa juga, banyaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkk sekali distraksi yahhh kalo lagi deadline ginihhh... mulai dari perut yang kelaperan, listrik yang byar pet, revisi2 dari orang2 agency yang dateng silih berganti, sampe2 yang model beginian nihh...

BUZZ!!!
bittersherry: hmmm?
tiga_dua_tiga: pasyi sok ga ol deh
bittersherry: iyeeee
bittersherry: lagi deadline
bittersherry: pasti pake messenger yang versi baru deh
bittersherry: yang bisa ngeliat yang sok2 ga ol
bittersherry: huh
tiga_dua_tiga: \ngga
tiga_dua_tiga: dikasi tau venie
tiga_dua_tiga: hehhe
bittersherry: OH YA AMPUN
bittersherry: AWO
bittersherry: kampret
bittersherry: hahahahaha
bittersherry: gue lupa mulu YM lo
bittersherry: hahahahahaha
tiga_dua_tiga: kok kamu ga perhatian sih
bittersherry: ih
bittersherry: iya sayang
bittersherry: nanti aku perhatikan kamu ya
bittersherry: TAPI GA SEKARANG AH
bittersherry: SIBUK
bittersherry: kan gue punya kehidupan
bittersherry: ga kaya lo
tiga_dua_tiga: dan lo iri sama gw yang ga punya kehidupan
bittersherry: *noyor*
tiga_dua_tiga: gangguin orang deadline ah
bittersherry: sudah diam jangan biarkan pojokan kecil di toolbar saya menyala2
bittersherry: mengganggu konsentrasi saja
tiga_dua_tiga: boleh ga?
bittersherry: yaaaaaah
bittersherry: nyala orens lagi toolbarnya
bittersherry: hush hush
tiga_dua_tiga: iihh
tiga_dua_tiga: kok ga di bales sih?
tiga_dua_tiga: *maksa
bittersherry: *gampar*
tiga_dua_tiga: *tangkis (mulai lagi)
bittersherry: *lempar awo pake kancut bekas*
tiga_dua_tiga: *bales pake kondom bekas n bocor
bittersherry: *ngambil tisu, iket kondomnya ke rambut awo DENGAN PAKSA
tiga_dua_tiga: *badan gw lebih gede
tiga_dua_tiga: *kondomnya gw arahin ke muka lo
tiga_dua_tiga: *dengan LEBIH MAKSA
bittersherry: tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak
bittersherry: sayaaaa tidak mau hamiiillll
bittersherry: tidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak
bittersherry: *lari
bittersherry: *bercucuran airmata
bittersherry: *terisak2 menembus hujan
bittersherry: *mendadak ada bunyi rem mendecit
bittersherry: *pria tampan kaya tiba2 turun dari mobil yang nyaris menabrak saya
tiga_dua_tiga: *gw yang bawa mobil
tiga_dua_tiga: *gw turun maki2 lo
bittersherry: BUKAN
bittersherry: LO GA MEMENUHI KRITERIA ITU
tiga_dua_tiga: "dasar bego, bosen idup ya"
bittersherry: *menangis terisak2..
bittersherry: "sayaa.. saya hamil.. om..."
tiga_dua_tiga: *gw naik mobil lagi
bittersherry: "ngga ada yang mau tanggung jawab..."
tiga_dua_tiga: *berlagak tuli
tiga_dua_tiga: *menginjak gas dengan sepenuh hati dan segenap jiwa
bittersherry: *ngelempar mobil pake batako
bittersherry: INI APA SEH JADI GA KERJA GUE
bittersherry: *balik lagi ngetik2*
tiga_dua_tiga: jangan dooonnnkkkkk
tiga_dua_tiga: *menangis terisak2
bittersherry: *menatap dengan mata setengah (lo pikir isakan lo MEMELAS?)
tiga_dua_tiga: *pasang mata kucing yang di film shrek
bittersherry: "gak kasian!"
bittersherry: *cabut
tiga_dua_tiga: *megangin kaki ampe keseret2
bittersherry: *kentut
bittersherry: berhasil
bittersherry: hore
bittersherry: *lari secepat kilat
bittersherry: sanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa cari kesibukaaaaaaaaaan
tiga_dua_tiga: ada siiiiiiihh
tiga_dua_tiga: cuma kayanya lebih asik ngegodain orang deadline
bittersherry: cihhh
tiga_dua_tiga: di depan pager ..... "sisiiiiiiii...main yoook"
bittersherry: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
bittersherry: *teriakan putus asa
tiga_dua_tiga: "siang tante
tiga_dua_tiga: "siang oomm"
tiga_dua_tiga: *udah masuk rumah
bittersherry: *nangis2 mukul lantai

......
oh mama oh papa... mengapa begitu banyak distraksi tercipta di kala deadline, kapan pula kerjaan saya ini akan selesai semuanyaaa... dan mengapa saya sempat2nya menulis entry ini...
mengapaaaaa...
mengapaaaaaaaaaaaaa..............

boo

2008-08-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

ding dong

oh my god!

2008-08-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

oh my god! i just have.. i really really just have to laugh... HAHAHAHAH...
oh life is such a divine comedy! better than the three stooges, better than chaplin, better than seeing your venomous enemy tripped down in an alley, better than lucy in the sky with diamond, oh maybe not better than that but still it really is equally amusing, better than crazy mushrooms, better than epiphany, better than billy bird international business traveller, better than... oh oh my... i really have to get out of this laughter, it's hurting my lung, it's choking my throat, it's... it's... it's amazing...
and the best... the best of all is... i... hahahah... am really the main actor of the divine comedy...
laugh your ass off, sisie. laugh your ass off. when people laugh at you, laugh with them!

Heiho, Let's Go and Off to Work We Go...

2008-08-05T02:28:00.000-07:00

Heiho let’s go and off to work we go
Bring your spades I’ll bring my seeds
Heiho let’s go and off to work we go
We’ll plant a tree we’ll watch it grow
Heiho let’s go and off to work we go
You’ll whistle your song I’ll call the mother bird
To build her nest upon our homely leaves

One two three four look baby the tree has grown
The sweet little birdies baby they’re now singing
Let’s hop on now the branches baby they’re so inviting
Grab on your guitar let’s sit under its shadows
I’ll catch the falling leaves you’ll smell the sweet breeze

What now baby? Now the tree has grown
Then what baby? That we made it great
If I climb the tree, baby would it be just because
I care to take care of the birdies baby
Which is of course you can see it as
Another heiho let’s go and off to work we go?
If I hug the tree ten times a day
Baby would it be just because
I care to warm up the tree
Which is of course you can see it as
Another heiho let’s go and off to work we go?
If I carry home its falling leaves each night
And stuff them inside my pillow to fill my lung with their scent
Baby would it be just because
I want to preserve its trinkets
Which of course you can see it as
Another heiho let’s go and off to work we go?

Vincent and Sophie

2008-07-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

why are you here?

my feet are trembling

i know but why are you here?

they have their free will

i don't believe you

talk to them if you want

they are stink

i know you still hate me

no, my hands are shaking

look i am here

what do you want now?

my heart is drumming beats

same thing here

can we hug?

no i don't think we can hug

i think so too

can we kiss?

no i don't think we can kiss

yes, that will hurt

and i will cry

i don't wanna die

i really missed you

oh fuck, did you just say that?

i'm such a cuckoo

and i always fell for you

shit, why are you saying that?

it just came out

it's too much pain

maybe you're too weak

maybe you're a hypocrite

fuck, i don't need to hear all this

i want to taste your tongue

stop, please stop, i'll die

i wish i'm dead right now

fuck, go away

dont you want to be fucked?

fuck, same old shitty you

and i miss you too

please, leave, just leave

please, after i kiss you?

why are you doing this to me?

i'll bleed, so what? i'm wounded anyway

you're killing us two

i know and i'm sorry

close your eyes, i'll kiss you

i wanna look into your eyes

close your eyes, please

so that i cant read you?

not too much to be read

yes i know, you love me too

i beg you, close your eyes

so that u'll be disappeared?

yes, but after i kiss you

Hello Clementine!

2008-07-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

Clementine Krucyznski: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Me: You said that to Joel? Touche, Clementine. Touche...

adopsi mereka sebelum disuntik mati! hiks....

2008-07-16T23:23:00.000-07:00

An jing-anjing ini ada di penampungan anjing di PENGAYOMAN RAGUNAN.
Karena banyaknya populasi anjing yang tidak terurus maka anjing-anjing ini terancam di SUNTIK MATI jika masih belum ada orang yang mau mengadopsinya.

Mohon kebaikan teman-teman untuk menyebarluaskan informasi ini dan menanyakan kepada relasi, teman kerja, teman kuliah dll siapa tau ada yang terketuk hatinya untuk mengambil anjing-anjing ini dan memeliharanya di rumah mereka.

Untuk informasi lebih lengkap bisa menghubungi langsung ke pengayoman tersebut / tanya no. pengayoman tersebut ke RS anjing di no. 6515262. kl tertarik untuk adopsi bisa telepon 7804993 atau ke pak herman di 08119634280

NOTE: KALO MINAT LANGSUNG TELPON KE CONTACT NUMBERNYA AJA, jangan ke saya...INI CUMAN TITIPAN info dr temen

(Hayo hayo..yg berminat untuk pelihara anjing...kasian mereka...)

the list of useless skills

2008-07-13T03:24:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Cherry Darling in Planet Terror grindhouse, I too decided to make a list of useless skills of my own. One day, maybe, as Dr. Dakota Block put it "at some point in your life, you find a use for every useless talent you ever had. It's like connecting the dots"...

*crossing fingers*

So, here's a few that i can think of for now...
useless skill #01
I can twist, twirl, twine, spin and roll my tongue real good

useless skill #02
I can move my ears backward and forward

useless skill #03
I can speak manadonese

useless skill #04
I can make cats fell asleep

useless skill #05
I can make funny noises with my toes

useless skill #06
I can generate puns and riddles in minutes count

useless skill #07
I can give a very good head massage

useless skill #08
I can sing lotsa songs from Betharia Sonata's era

useless skill #09
I can blow spit bubbles

useless skill #10
I know lines from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind by heart

useless skill #11
I can fall asleep floating on my back in a swimming pool

useless skill #12
I can eat really fast

useless skill #13
I can make rainbows from water and oil

useless skill #14
I can interpret dreams

useless skill #15
I can make a drama out of anything

and still counting....

And we're always amazed...

2008-07-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

Terlalu banyak Pippi Langstrump mengalir dalam darah kita, lalu panjat pohonnya dan terdamparlah kita di Negeri Tuka-Tuka, melihat bintang timur lalu menghisap Cerutu Sang Pharaoh. Kunang-kunang, Enid! Kunang-kunang! Bintang jatuhkah atau kembang api? Kita terlalu mudah terdistraksi oleh benda-benda yang mengeluarkan cahaya. Kita menerawang diatas atap rumah, aku berbisik, bahkan nama belakangnya pun seperti magnet yang membuat radarku berpijar. Kamu lalu tidak mau kalah, "nama belakang ia, yang tertangkap lampu mercusuarku," katamu, "selalu digambarkan dengan cahaya yang turun dari langit". Semiotika, aku tahu. Tapi somehow betul juga itu. Seperti anak kecil, menyusun nama belakang, tapi kita memang berusia tujuh tahun, berlari-lari di padang rumput, meniup gelembung sabun dan mengejar kupu-kupu. Kamu menemukan pohon oak besar yang ingin kaupanjat, aku menengadah, 'is it actually safe?'. 'It is', you said. Then I climbed up the tree, lalu melihat gumpalan-gumpalan awan yang menggelembung di langit biru. 'Yang itu berbentuk roket yang hendak diterbangkan ke bulan!' katamu, 'it really looks more like one quasiphallical object', i said. Lalu kamu memandangku dengan heran. Aku tidak peduli, aku sedang menggambar dengan crayon, kamu mengamati, lalu kita terheran-heran menikmati semesta.

To be continued...

Fox in the Snow

2008-07-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

Fox in the snow, where do you go
To find something you can eat?
Cause the word out on the street is you are starving
Dont let yourself grow hungry now
Dont let yourself grow cold
Fox in the snow

Girl in the snow, where will you go
To find someone that will do?
To tell someone all the truth before it kills you
They listen to your crazy laugh
Before you hang a right
And disappear from sight
What do they know anyway?
Youll read it in a book
What do they know anyway?
Youll read it in a book tonight

Boy on the bike, what are you like
As you cycle round the town?
Youre going up, youre going down
Youre going nowhere
Its not as if theyre paying you
Its not as if its fun
At least not anymore
When your legs are black and blue
Its time to take a break
When your legs are black and blue
Its time to take a holiday

Kid in the snow, way to go
It only happens once a year
It only happens once a lifetime
Make the most of it
Second just to being born
Second to dying to
What else could you do?

*song by Belle and Sebastian

hm..hm..hm... :) si rubah saljuuuuuuuuu....

Bubble of Thoughts

2008-07-07T18:16:00.000-07:00

No we're not born with wings behind our backs
Yes we have fins instead and that's the fact

Inside the glass things could get a little hazy, unclear and blurry
But it's bubble of the thoughts, dear
Ploppin out from your head, dear
Up unto the water surface...

Bubble of thoughts, thousands of them, dispersing themselves,
Disappear into the air
I see you swimming around, dear
Swimming swimming around, dear
On the other side of the glass

Chorus:
Give me the strength for the clang clang
It's much warmer than you think
It's waiting for you
A fear which takes you to the bang bang
But only fate divides us
I see in you
Shoulder to shoulder in the end
Shoulder to shoulder in the end

Please don't shatter the glass, dear
You'd only hurt your nose, dear

You cant shatter the glass,
Why don't you hold on tight
To the bubble of thoughts and
Jump, jump, jump, jump

a song by riddlereverie (is that the fixed name, eh? hihihihi...)

The Burka Band

2008-07-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

I incidentally stumbled upon this article, it was actually dated years ago, and the core of the issue is really, nothing new. Still it's amuse me nonetheless, in a sad and loathsome kind of way. Kudos to the girls, though. I hope they’re still alive up to now, and not beheaded by some nauseating religious militants. I mean, for freak’s sake, this could very well happen anywhere, in some countries where, in the name of the religion, people feel they have the right to butcher people and their property. Shoveling their sickening pseudo-norms and morality in the name of their belief everywhere. Oh, wait a minute, did I just say some countries? Emm… countries like our country? Oh yah well…

Anyway, here’s the complete article…

The Burka Band

By Michael Lund and Signe Daugbjerg

- Blueee, burka blue, sings the lead singer on the tv, while another woman plays the drums and a third the guitar.

The three girls make small dancesteps and swing the microphone as you would in any other girl band. But there is one big difference. The three girls all wear the Afghan burka, the blue dress that covers a woman from head to toe.

25-year-old Nargiz laughs when she shows us the video in Kabul , the capital of Afghanistan . She is one of the three girls who started the Burka Band two years ago.

- It was a lot of fun, but also very scary. Afghanistan is still a very dangerous place for modern women, and when we shot the video we had to do it very discreetely because no one could know that we were playing music, says Nargiz.

Hidden recording

Nargiz started the Burka Band when she met a German music producer in Kabul in late 2002. The producer was teaching Afghans to play modern music, and Nargiz learned to play the drums. One day she wondered why all the burkas in Kabul were blue, and together with two friends she wrote the song "Burka Blue" which is about burkas and the way you feel when you wear them. The song was recorded in Kabul with help from the German producers. The band would rehearse behind locked doors, so nobody would find out that the women were playing music. The burka also helped hide who the bandmembers really were.

- Of course it was a joke to sing in the burkas, but it was also necessary to wear them. If people in Afghanistan knew who the members of the Burka Band were, we could be attacked or killed because there are still a lot of religious fanatics here, says Nargiz, who hasn't told any of her friends that she has played in the Burka Band.

In 2003 the German record label Ata Tak released the song in Germany and the song became a hit in German clubs after it had been remixed by a german DJ. The Burka Band even performed at a big concert in Köln during a trip to Germany . Unfortunately, Nargiz couldn't join the band in Köln because she had to work, but she followed all the hype from her home in Kabul .

Too dangerous to sing

- At first I didn't believe it, when the German producer told me the song was a hit in Germany . It was fantastic, but at the same time, we also worried that somebody in Afghanistan would find out who we were because of all the attention, remembers Nargiz, who estimates that only 10 people in Afghanistan actually know who the faces behind the burkas in the band belong to.

The Burka Band has never performed in Afghanistan and at the moment the band is not active. During the Taliban regime music was totally forbidden, and women were not allowed to work. To sing in public could carry a death sentence. Today the country is still very conservative, and there is no market in Afghanistan for the Burka Band's music. The band members have to wait for a European or American record label to help them if they are to make a whole album one day.

- I'd like to play again, but right now it is not possible. Last year there was a big bomb at a concert here in Kabul , and lots of people are still against female singers because the religous leaders condemn it. It will probably take 10 years before we will have real girl bands here in Afghanistan , says Nargiz, who now works in an international organisation in Kabul .

The lead singer of the Burka Band has gone to Pakistan because she can't sing in Afghanistan , and the guitarist has a regular job.

Today the only place to see the Burka Band is on the video. On the screen the first and only Afghan girl band plays on with their headphones on the burka-covered heads and the drumsticks swinging. The lyrics go:

- My mother wears a burka, I must wear a burka too. We all wear a burka, we don't know who is who. Blueee, burka blue.

Nargiz's name has been changed to secure her anonymity.

Info box:
The land of no music

When the religious Taliban-movement was in power in Afghanistan they banned all music because they thought singing and dancing was the work of the devil. People listening to music would be beaten or put in prison. Watching television, flying kites and wearing make-up was also forbidden for more than five years and women were forced to wear a burka.

In 2001 the Taliban was ousted from power by a coalition led by the Americans and today the country is moving towards democracy. However, Afghanistan is still a very conservative country and many Afghans feel that especially women shouldn't play music.

i feel

2008-06-12T01:26:00.000-07:00

alone
surrounded by all these
i know i should feel
content

i
am
not

picture was taken from www.ravendance.com

I am not sad

2008-06-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not sad because of what you did.
I probably deserved that anyway.
I'm sad because I know I wont allow myself to forgive you for doing that.
It makes me sad to think of it that way.

hahaha

2008-06-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

sayang..

2008-06-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

dammit. ini cuma proses.

Things Happened When You're Twenty Something (Part I)

2008-05-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

Kejadiannya pas gue lagi belanja jins bareng si mamah. Berhubung dibayarin, jadilah gue seneng2 aja nemenin doi keliling2 beli jins baru. Sampai tibalah saatnya gue memilih jins yang gue inginkan…

Mas2 yang jaga toko: Size-nya apa, mbak?

Gue: Hmmm… S kayanya mas. Atau nomer yang paling kecil aja deh. Biasanya saya pake ukuran yang paling kecil soalnya.

Mas2 yang jaga toko: *menatap dengan pandangan gak yakin* S, mbak?

Gue: *sensi dengan tatapan si mas2 yang gak yakin sambil ngambilin jins dengan size permintaan gue* Iya, saya biasa pake yang S.

Mas2 yang jaga toko: *ngasih jins dengan nggak rela* Ini, mbak. Mau nyobain yang M sekalian?

Gue: *sensi, senewen dan mulai melirik dengan sebel* Hmph, ya udah deh sini, sekalian.

Jadilah, gue masuk ke kamar pas dengan membawa dua potong jins warna washout black yang emang gue pengenin sejak lama itu, ukuran S dan M. Si jins ukuran M tentu aja gue lirik dengan lirikan seperti yang bisa diberikan oleh seorang ibu tiri pada keponakan jauh anak tirinya, sambil menggantungnya di gantungan baju dengan cukup jumawa. Lalu mulailah gue nyobain si jins ukuran S. Gerakan doyong-doyong ke kiri dan ke kanan ketika memasukkan ujung kaki ke celana gue anggap sebagai hal yang normal, alah.. ini mah emang biasa atuh.. jins jaman sekarang emang potongannya bikin doyong-doyong kalo mau dipake saking cucutnya ujungnya. Mulai agak naik ke atas, doyong2an gue makin seru, tapi gue teteup semangat dan percaya kalo ini emang cuma efek potongan jins dan emang harus begitulah adanya. Barulah ketika doyong2an gue itu sudah menjadi lompat2an agak heboh ketika sudah sampai ke bagian paha nyaris pinggul, gue mulai tertegun. ‘Ada sesuatu yang salah di sini. Sumpah. Saya tidak tau apa, tapi rasanya benar2 ada sesuatu yang salah!’ Lalu karena gue nggak suka melakukan sesuatu yang terasa salah (serem, takut dosa), maka dengan lunglai gue membuka kembali jins ukuran S yang nggak sukses nyampe bagian paha nyaris pinggul itu.

Samar-samar, gue seperti ngedenger suara cekikikan dari arah si jins ukuran M yang gue gantung . ‘Oh faaaaaiiinnnn... sini lo kampret, gue pake!’ dan akhirnya gue putuskan untuk nyobain si jins ukuran M itu juga. Pas gue cobain, gerakan doyong2 masih terjadi (bener kan, itu mah efek potongan jins jaman sekarang!), sampe bagian paha, mulai terasa sempit, namun dimana ada kemauan di situ ada jalan, maka dengan sedikit gerakan2 memaksa, berhasil lah jins itu memeluk pinggul gue dengan sempurna. ‘Ah! There you are! Sial, ukuran gue M ternyata!’ tapi itu sebelum gue mencoba mengancingkan jins itu.... dan.. dan.. dan gak muaaaaaaaaaaattttttttt!!!!

*sakit hati*

*berlinang air mata*

Hari itu, gue tetep membeli jins berukuran M itu, karena ukuran gue bukan L. Sumpah bukan L, gue cuma perlu beberapa minggu lari pagi.

huhuhuuuu...

2008-05-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

“Iteman, si?”

“Wow! You got your tan!”

“Deeeuuu yang baru liburaaaan...”

Balik dari Bali dengan kulit yang gosong sentosa, gue jadi familiar sama komentar2 macem begituan. Emang, main panas2an tiap hari bikin kulit gue jadi item. Tapi kan udah gue bilang, gak peduli juga sih, soalnya sebanding banget sama segala hal2 cihuy under the sun yang gue lakuin di sana. Jadi, komentar2 seputar kulit gue yang iteman selalu gue jawab dengan cengiran jumawa. Tapi itu sebelum kejadian sore ini pas gue lagi sok gaya luluran di salon. Si mbak2 kapster yang ramah dan murah senyum itu tiba2 nanya sama gue...

“Cowoknya bule ya, mbak?”*

Kampret! Kok gue sebel yahhhh... jadi maksuth lo apeeee? Gue setipe sama cewek2 cem2annya buleeeeeee???? Huaaa... gue tau si mbak2 itu gak bermaksud nyebelin, orang cuma ngomong cowoknya bule doang, huhuuuu, dan kaga ada hubungannya, temen gue aja banyak yang cowoknya bule dan mereka juga cihuy2 aja kok. Tapi tetep ajaaaa... huhuuuu... gue benci stereotipeeeee...

Hella Bali (Part I)

2008-05-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah what the hell. This morning I gave a metal sign to my reflection on the mirror. Screw these utterly atrocious-looking pimples, that went sprouting and blossoming in every available lease on my face like the spring of July. Screw these beautifully mangy complexion, the flawless dirt-colored skin of mine, the hopelessly tousled hair, screw them all, screw them all. How would I, o godhead, ever complained, upon these fantabulous days I had. When I got to lie down at the sandy beach of Kuta in the stark of the night, the first night I arrived here. Looking at the stars and watching them colors swirling and twirling before me. When I got to see bits by bits of sands went elevated, floating like bubbles up to the effervescent sky. Clouds of aurora dancing and musing in slow motion, eating and rolling the twinkling stars in the hay. When I got to sing to every Beatles' song I know with the band of the sea playing the waves melody serenading every tune I made. I felt the utmost kindness overflowing in my blood stream, gushing in every heartbeat. I felt beautiful, I felt unruffled, calm and ecstatic at the same time, so elevated, I felt that there should be a song dedicated to my splendiferous being. “I should live and die by the sea! This is across the universe, floating in the sky like diamond. This is blackbird singing in the dead of night, and if you want me to, I will! I will!” Darn crazy mushroom!

The second night here, I wandered around, I gazed at the loitering crowds of Legian roaming around upon the noisy night, back and forth, back and forth. I took some sips, and the trip then brought me to a square room where everything was black and white. I felt a little bit claustrophobic, but it didn't take me away from noticing them shadows making lazy motions on the wall. It was quiescent, yet exhiliarating. I turned the tv on and meditated upon the dramatic sounds they played in every movie score. The fact that I felt overwhelmed with pulses of enlightment after watching The House of Wax, made me understand why they made the word 'crazy' embedded with the complete phrase.

The next day, off to dreamland I went. After bathed in a little bit of rain of adrenalines in Benoa. A little bit, I said. Not that much. I happened to think that human-made rain of adrenaline couldn't even go as close to the rhapsodic ecstasy offered by the nature-produced substances. Not that I didn't gorge every single drip of adrenaline offered, though. And dreamland was beautiful, the strikingly clear blue sky, the clean white sands, I dipped my feet beneath and felt the coolness of it dampening my sunbaked toes. I waved the sun good sleep as it went setting down.

On the fifth day, I went to Amed. Impressively far, we went through all these beautiful remote villages in Bali. Made a stop at Amlapura for breakfast, the place were stunning with oldschool Dutch architectural buildings adorning the traditional market. It's not until two hours later that we finally reached Eco-Dive, the diving site of our destination. Once again I bode my ignorance upon the beady-eyed sunshine. It was 12 at noon, I couldn't even care less how the lumbering weight of my scuba tank hurt my spine as I dragged myself as close as I can to the sea shore. Sun was warm and the burden on my back got lighter and lighter as I drown myself deeper and deeper. It was miraculous down there, indeed. School of fish in sparkling color were fluttering all around me, I touched the nearest anemones that waved upon me flirtatiously. It was soft and jelly-like. Upon my head the rays were penetrating the sea surface, like the swords of light diffusing everything on their ways. I chased a yellow fish with blue lines on its fins that swam right in front of my nose, but I was too joyous, the burst of air bubbles dazzled my sight out of the flickering little fish. I lost any track of time and space, though I wasn't failed to remind myself to look at my air gauge every once in awhile. It's not until Made, my dive-buddy, softly pulled my left flipper, that I saw his thumb pointed upwards, a sign to greet the surface at last. I took off my goggles, and Made was a bit startled. “You're bleeding.” He said, pointed out at my nose. “Am I?”, I wiped my nose off and saw lines of red smearing the back of my palm. It must be the air pressure down there, I was too happy chasing the fish I rarely equalized. It was nothing serious, though. Nothing that could beat the fun I felt that day.

So how could I complain about all these sunburn pain, the ache in my ear, and the flakes on my head? When I'm writing this while lying lazily under the sun that shines brightly upon the sandy beach of Kuta. How dare I could ever complained? Just bring me more arak attack, and some more bacons, please!

Menahun

2008-04-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

aku ingin mabuk menahun :) kuingin ambil semua zat sedatif yang tersebar di udara lalu menyatu dengan debu dinding. agar tidak kuingat lagi kala air matamu kutampung dalam botol-botol kaca, lalu kusimpan tersusun rapi dalam lemari. terberi label nama dan khasiat. dahaga lepas tapi pipimu pias. agar tidak kuingat lagi kala jantungmu, hatimu, paru-paru yang menderukan napasmu adalah bantalan empuk untuk jarum-jarum jahitku, sebelum mulai kuuntai benang dan kutisik lagi selimut mimpi kita. agar tidak kuingat lagi kala setiap ruam syaraf otakmu terasuki jaring laba-laba yang kupintal panjang berujung pada rambut yang kuminta kamu belai setiap hari kita bermimpi.
aku ingin mabuk menahun.
aku ingin memikirkan kalau kamar tempat aku tidur adalah sebuah pulau kecil sunyi berbentuk tanda koma.

Desember

2008-04-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

Selalu ada yang bernyanyi dan berelegi

Di balik awan hitam

Semoga ada yang menerangi sisi gelap ini

Menanti..

Seperti pelangi setia menunggu hujan reda

Aku selalu suka sehabis hujan di bulan Desember

Di bulan Desember...

Sampai nanti ketika hujan tak lagi

Meneteskan duka meretas luka

Sampai hujan memulihkan luka...

*song by erk

dan apalagi yang bisa kubilang kali ini karena sungguh persediaan pura-pura ku sudah menguap terbuang ke sudut-sudut ruangan...

Always Look On The Bright Side of Life...

2008-03-16T23:53:00.000-07:00

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

This song is from Life of Brian, Monty Python. Sing Sisie sing! hufffffff...
image was taken from trishbeeuk.blogspot.com

Always Look On the Bright Side of Life

2008-03-16T23:42:00.000-07:00

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
from Monty Python, image was taken from trishbeeuk.blogspot.com/

hai dan halo

2007-05-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

hai halo. saya kembali. setelah hiatus sekian lama karena beratus juta hal, teknis maupun tidak begitu teknis sampe yang dicari-cari. blog saya kembali lagi. dan saya akan menulis lagi. saya janji. sekarang itu dulu lah.

sampai jumpa.
-sie-

put a smile on your face and make the world a better place

2006-12-04T02:52:00.000-08:00

i dont need make-ups, or masks, i never do. i just have to smear that paste upon my lips and put on that drawing i made before.
beeyatch.
should i wait a few more days before i really ask? would that make much of a difference?

almost eight, i should go home now. my body's falling apart.
too tired to write, yet i got so many things to scream out.
oh i'm such a very nice girl, am not i?

-sie-

*artwork by Amanda Walujo

not pretty enough?

2006-10-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

I live
I breathe
I let it rain on me
I sleep
I wake
I try hard not to break
I crave
I love
I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

chorus

I laugh
I feel
I make believe it's real
I fall
I freeze
I pray down on my knees
I hope
I stand,
I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

chorus

why do you see
why do you see
why do you see
why do you see right through me

*Kasey Chambers

in the middle of OTAK NGEHANG... sialaaaann padahal minggu depan deadline kerjaan gue baru kelar 10% doang... dan OTAK gue NGEHANG... @nj**G!!
anyway, currently listening to this tune, and it's just me being too sappy but this song really touches.
-sie-

nyam!

2006-09-28T04:53:00.000-07:00

i know who i want to take me home :)
and i think it's beautiful

-sie-

addictedtowhat?

2006-09-27T01:15:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna get married.
I just want to feel loved for the rest of my life until I die.
If marriage means a way to keep the one you love from leaving you when they feel like leaving you and they want to leave you because they no longer love you anymore and no longer loving you would mean that they would stop sharing and giving love to you and making you feel loved,
Then I don't wanna get married.
I want to feel loved for the rest of my life until I die.
You can go as far as you want,
You can drift away and never come back
I will not hold myself from wanting to feel loved for the rest of my life until I die.

-sie-

*picture was taken from the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I should be thinking about some other more important questions in life but I cant stop myself thinking about these...

2006-09-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

How do you define infidelity? How do you define unfaithfulness? Does holding hand in hand with the opposite sex other than your partner means that you are unfaithful? Does thinking of having sex with another person makes you unfaithful? Does seeing pornographic material or some show in the chatroom means that you are not faithful to your partner? Does looking at some girl or boy masturbating in the webcam for you can be defined as unfaithful?
How about cybersex?
How about phonesex?
Or some fucking sms-sex, whatever that means...
Okay, let's change the question.
What does fidelity mean anyway?
Is there actually such concept in life?
Answer
Answer
Answer please

-sie-

Ramadan

2006-09-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

I used to love this song so much when I was a kid, aged six or seven. I remember, I used to listen to this song every ramadan, played in my dad working room, always after he had finished his Tarawih pray (he didnt usually do his Tarawih pray in the mosque) and read some Koran verses. He always played this Bimbo song, 'Rindu Kami Padamu' along with other Bimbo's songs of course. But this song was the one I love the best. Back then, I thought the song was beautiful, It describes one's love for his prophet, his longing to feel the sincere and peaceful love of his prophet. I still think that it is a beautiful song.

Rindu Kami Padamu

Rindu kami padamu ya rasul rindu tiada terperi
berabad jarak darimu ya rasul
serasa dikau di sini

cinta ikhlasmu pada manusia
bagai cahaya suarga
dapatkah kami membalas cintamu
secara bersahaja

rindu kami padamu ya rasul
rindu tiada terperi
berabad jarak darimu ya rasul
serasa dikau di sini

cinta ikhlasmu pada manusia
bagai cahaya suarga
dapatkah kami membalas cintamu
secara bersahaja

Back then, when I used to listen to this song, I never knew that there are people that would threat me to death if I wont cover my body with their so called 'decent' clothes, if I speak up my mind and trying to question things that I think need to be questioned, if I try to find answers with my own efforts and wont surrender myself to their rigid and unquestionable rules, if I want to love my God, and my prophet with my own way.
I wonder, if Muhammad still alive, would he want to kill me too like all those people?
I might know nothing about Muhammad but if those evil people who want to behead other people because they are different to them really believe that whatever they're doing is within the guidelines of Muhammad and the religion he taught us (with all their jargons of jihad and bagaimana mereka meneladani Muhammad), I dont think I would want to have such an evil and violent prophet to guide my way.
I prefer a more peaceful and loving prophet.
Maybe it's just a matter of interpretation.

Happy Ramadan, everyone.

-sie-

absurd sekali hidup ini yah?

2006-09-08T04:55:00.000-07:00

baby, yes you baby, one that i love really really dear...
i'm only twelve while you are eighteen
every single thing that excites me is just another mundane for you
this you already knew, that you found unsurprising
been there done that
you said
well
no baby
i havent been there and that i havent done
baby baby baby
if it's for me, would you want to do stupid things and
pretend that it is so excitingly new for you too?
then we can drown ourselves in thrill
while holding hand together looking one to another
before we close our eyes together
anticipating the waves of fun swept us overjoyed?

-sie-

2006-09-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

the dining dead

2006-09-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

Dinner at Kang's again. Are we like those poor couples, you feel sorry for in the restaurant? Are we the dining dead? I cant stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about…
Joel : How's the chicken?
Clementine : Good. More?
Joel : No. No. Thank you.

*taken from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Days and days and weeks and here comes the year. Of constant talking. Some say it is called communication. And communication is the key to the healthy relationship. It helps you to know each other better. But constantly talking doesn't necessarily means communicating. And if you keep on talking and talking and talking and explaining and opening your self up, whatever will happen when everything is all exposed? Done exposed? Period. All your thoughts then got all dug up, all your point of views and beliefs and stances got all unfurled and arrayed, all your cute little hidden dreams got all discovered, all your biggest fears, all your most shameful experiences? Whatever will happen next? What will make me think that YOU are interesting baby? All that interesting about you I already know. You are like this one my very favorite book. My most favorite book of all. I read you over and over and over and over again, I drowned myself in your crazy and wicked adventures again and again and again, now I even know every fucking single detail of the story of the book, every hidden corner, every dialogue the characters make, like I can even tell everything about the book without even reading it, with my eyes closed. Like, I know what will happen next to the hero, what will he say next and how he will get his victory. Then, baby, tell me, even though that book is my favorite book, will I still consider it interesting if I already know everything about the book? Of course I wont discard that book, because I love that book so much, but I would probably just leave the book in my book shelf, while beginning to look for something interesting to read. Not necessarily needs to be more interesting, for I know that I might not find some other book that really suits my interest like that my one favorite book, but you know... some other book that will give me something new interesting things to dig out, to discover, to unfurl...

Honey I am so lost in this thought. Help me out?

-sie-

automendification machine

2006-08-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

I own this machine called an automendification machine.

Like its name, it works by automatically mend things

that are in need to be mended.

For its fuel, it uses anything in me that can be burnt.

picture was taken from: www.kcdawncreation.com

-sie-

depressive senseless irritation and endless furious aggravation

2006-08-28T01:15:00.000-07:00

I say. Just kill me. Kill me quick and painless. Get over this phrenic bursting rollercoaster already. Stop torturing me every fucking single month with this depressive senseless irritation and endless furious aggravation. After writing a full page of tirade which contained exactly forty-three 'bitch' words in it and ninety-eight 'fuck/fucking' words addressed to my beloved roommate (only of course I would not want to post the writing here for the sake of avoiding some unnecessary and rather unworthy friction) and getting so raged when my boyfriend actually used the word 'expendable' to justify his argument why he thinks it is rational for him to risk his own life by dragging wherever he goes his fellow soldier's dead flesh when he's in the middle of the war (ah, the fucking long debate that I think would even be too long to be put here, well maybe later some other time). Not too mention, impulsively spending more than forty thousand rupiahs just for food today. And gotten really fucking sappily overdramatic when my boyfriend didn't call, frigging really sensitive and irritated with someone else's laughter, and had made five slaughter plans in my head today for five different persons that I found really got into my nerves today. And I feel stupid and I feel that nobody likes me and I seriously think that my boyfriend should come here and give me a hug and say sweet things to me. HAH! But of course that wouldn't happen. I want to slit some throats. One of my friends just said that he had a sore throat. Why, my friend, why don't you come here and show that velvety throat to me, maybe I can do you a favor to get rid off your sore. See, if I slit your throat, you won’t feel any sore no more. Now for that I can be one hundred percent sure.

-arghed me-

something surreal in the morning

2006-08-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

merokok dji sam soe jam enam pagi dengan cahaya kamar redup redup gimana gitu membuat review CD Sitting On Anything Cold dan sebuah band death metal bernama death vomit (heck why do people really love to groooowwwlll in death metal, dont they know that dead people dont groooowwwwwllll? dead people are dead, what else do you expect???), jempol agak sedikit dingin dingin beku butuh kehangatan gitu, dengan teman sekamar yang setengah telanjang lagi berpelukan sama teman tidurnya. i hope they dont wake up. oh please dear lord dont let them wake up and wiggle again. nap. exactly, the power of wishing something for not happening, they tend to happen. shit. and they wiggle again. right beside me. like um fifteen centimetres next to me. and they wiggle. wiggle. wiggle. hands everywhere. shit. i cant help but notice. oh dear lord please let me concentrate on this guy's groooowwwll in my PC's speakers, whatever it is that he's grooooowwwwl-ing about. fuck. i cant. oh they change position. i want to choke my roommate's neck. nah. dont have the right to. just smoke again baby smoke. hey i make love better than her. i make better move. fuck. concentrate here, sisie. hey what if i join them?. PLAK. i slap my own head. smokesmokesmokesmoke again. oh dead guy from the cd how i love that u are growling.

-sie-

EQ sh*tes...

2006-08-09T00:02:00.000-07:00

The bitch might be a champion dramaqueen but she surely scores best in handling emotion. Ironicly, that was also the very reason why her boyfriend decided to leave her once. ahahaha. And you thought life is so boring... :p

Your EQ is 153

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

told you told you told you

2006-07-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

of out there out there
told you i'm going to be out of there soon!
wish me good luck guys! :)

body and soul

2006-07-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

it's just the body i'm selling not my soul
it's just the body i'm selling not my soul
fluttering wings
what's the use the wings that flutter
but cant fly
closed eyes filled tears
but it's just
it's just the body i'm selling not my soul
you know?
................
but how do you know which one's your body
and which one's your soul?

-sie-

picture was taken from www.onlyinhouston.org

salaamm postmopoliteeess!

2006-07-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

You scored as Postmodernist.
Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation.
You see the universe as a collection of information
with varying ways of putting it together.
There is no absolute truth for you;
even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation.
Meaning relies on context
and even the language you use to describe things
should be subject to analysis.

Existentialist

88%

Postmodernist

88%

Modernist

81%

Cultural Creative

69%

Materialist

63%

Romanticist

56%

Idealist

38%

Fundamentalist

31%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

the night of the world cup final

2006-07-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

Alone in my room, 9.40 PM. Boyfriend was gone out with the boys, having some beers they said before watching the world cup final at the town square. My feet were itching of the foot cream after waxing. The sublime irony of the pain and the beauty. They looked beautiful, hairless, smooth, smelled nice of lavender and mint, the smell of my foot cream. I love the look and the smell of it. Only he didnt notice.
If only he would notice. If only he would say something. It was too trivial, I guess. His girlfriend newly hairless feet, with the sweet smell of lavender and mint. How would he possibly know that there were indeed several strands of hair were gone from his girlfriend's feet? That’s just too absurd.
But at least he could say something about the hair? His girlfriend's newly dyed hair. Dark cobalt blue. Just been dyed this morning when he was once again out finishing his work in the office. It's Sunday, and he's not even home all day. He ought to know that Sunday is my only day off. Having to work from ten to seven every single day from Monday to Saturday, he ought to know that Sunday is my only day to enjoy myself all day. And when it comes to enjoying something, I always want to share it with the one I love. It's him the one I love and it's me I want to share.
But he's been out all day and this Sunday I was alone enjoying myself.
Funny how the word 'enjoying myself' sounds very much quite similar with the word 'lonely' when he's not around.
I made myself some coffee. Black, as usual. Past the mirror when I went back to my room with a cup of coffee in my hand. I took a quick glance and realized that the color of my hair was not that different from before. There was a vague sheer of dark blue gleaming subtly. But that was it. No wonder that he didnt notice.
I sipped my coffee while carefully choosing the book that I wanted to read for the night. Old Lewis Caroll's Through the Looking Glass. When the emotion's sprinkled here and there, mixed up in disarray, you would want to read something surreal.
Maybe it's true that I was too melodramatic, but I missed him, fucking chronically.
And of all the days in the world, this sappy feeling came at the night of the world cup final, where everybody in this fucking world was busy fussing about Zinedine Zidane, Gennaro Gattuso, Francesco Totti, Thierry Henry, blafblafblaf. Of course nobody would notice about some girl's newly dyed hair, or her hairless feet that smell really really nice.
Or how I would really love to share myself that night.

-sie-

Ps: all the setting and the characters were made up. Any similarity with the real life would just be a coincident.

the curse of SamsonS

2006-07-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in curses? I dont. But I begin to do. I think I'm being cursed, wickedly, by this guy, this pretentious kitschy guy who sang some unforgivable song about his raunchiness of being touched by thousands of women while shamelessly flaunting that his sole purpose in life is to chase the chicks. (You know what song I mean, right? Oh please... it's eekingly everywhere in town, so happening it invades your life like Paris Hilton and her inevitable phrase of "OH...itu panaassss")
Right. So, I had placed this guy and the rest of his band beneath my contempt. I cant even count all the sarcastic remarks I've given to them. And now, I'm truly cursed.

-sigh- So for those of you who doesn't know, I'm working at some stupid tacky teenage and children magazine that proclaimed to be, and priced itself to be, an A+ magazine. They pay me quite well, but torment me every here and there with their philistine taste. When I first decided to accept the offer, I thought I could make something there, I mean...it sounded challenging enough, you know, to somehow enlighten and bring the magazine out of the dark. Besides, they seemed willing to pull themselves out of the dark by firing all the boards and the teams that used to make the unjustifiable previous editions of that magazine and making some really brand new creative teams, young people from various background mostly fresh graduates with fresh idealism and all that jazz, with me who happens to be one of them. So I was quite excited at first, you know, knowing that I could freely pour my creativity and all those evil plans in my head to somehow brainwash my readers, those children, to stop imitating Paris Hilton or… well you know what I'm talking about. I spent quite fun actually hunting for the news and report for my articles.

Until I realized, and this was known to me later, rather way too late actually, that they have a very bad and lousy management. I didnt know that the boards and the reporters from the previous editions of the magazine hadnt been discharged entirely. They had excluded the editor in chief of the previous magazine. Which of course was a truly stupid decision, because obviously she was the genesis of the deadly disease. Since she was the editor in chief she was the one who held the final decision and the one who decided what topic should be taken for the magazine. I really dont know whose idiot decided to let her stay and continuously ruin the magazine. And the worse thing about all is that, I dont know how and why, but when me and my team was working to finish the first edition of the newly born magazine, she was too doing exactly the same thing with her team in her office. So at the same time, there were two magazines being made, my version and her version. And you know what, at the end of the term, when I was quite happy that me and my team had finally made it before the deadline, all the articles and design, all of a sudden I came to the office and found a copy of a magazine, with a letter on top of it, saying that I had to translate to English some of the contents there. I was like...what? What contents? Then I looked up the magazine, and yap...you guess right, it was not my version of the magazine, it was hers, and it would be printed officially. Hers, and all her stupid articles, and not mine. I really didnt understand what had happened, why they had taken her articles instead of mine, if they really want to make a new version of the magazine and they had stated that they were quite unsatisfied with the works of the previous team, then why did they take her version instead?

But that's not even the worst part, when I looked the magazine up, I found that... instead of the name of her teams printed in the magazine, it was my team's name printed there. My team, my name, there...in that stupid magazine. As if I was the one who's responsible for the stupid contents of that magazine.
Now thats just so unethical, I didnt contribute anything to that magazine but they put my name there! You know, every single thing I made is my own portfolio, and that magazine, that edition is not my work, and I would never ever let that works become a part of my portfolio! That very stereotyping, cliche, non-creative, tacky, articles printed there. I would never make something like that!

But you know what you know what you know what? that's not even the worst of it, so when I looked up the teenage version of the magazine, this magazine, this so called self proclaiming A+ magazine with such a high price, had Nia Ramadhani and SAMSONS on the cover! What else could be tackier and stupider than that? Only idiots would pay Rp35.000 to read articles about Nia Ramadhani and Samsons while they could get it by only paying Rp.2500 at some cheap local infotainment tabloids. And when I looked at inside of it, yes...exactly...they had put my name there too. As if I agreed with all the contents written there, contributed my minds there, or wrote the articles there.

Pencemaran nama baik sungguh. Now all Jakarta would see that stupid magazines and they would also see my name in it, as if I'm the one who was responsible for all the stupidity there.
That's why I think I'm being cursed. The curse of *eeeek* Samsons.
Bleurgh.
Outta there really soon. Don't want any more pencemaran nama baik.

-sie-

Fucking Philistines!

2006-06-29T22:43:00.001-07:00

i fucking hate my job. damn philistines who raped my name and use it anyway they want. they didnt wanna take my articles and still insisted in using their god damn philistine-worthless-cheesy-tacky-cheap topics. YET THEY PUT MY NAME ON IT as in i'm the one who wrote those WORTH-FUCKING-LESS articles.
gw marah sekali sampe ga bisa ngomong apa2. mana majalahnya udah naik cetak.
ntar gw ceritain dengan lebih lengkap deh... skrg gw lg di kantor sialan ini soalnya.
out of here pretty soon, though. they dont deserve me. i'm way too smart for them.

-sie-

THAT kind of man?

2006-06-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

So the philosophy test I took, though it's rather pseudo-accurate... like Ferdi's remark... shows that I'm that Existensialist?
Hm. I didnt know i'm into Sartre that much. I mean... come on... the sexist who made Beauvoir appeared no more than his protegee for the rest of her life while secretely took Beauvoir's works as the source of his inspiration? Well... though of course I have to admit that his works, marked as one of the greatest works of modern philosophy...
But... you know...
The self-centered, smart-ass, arogant, think-he-knows-everything Sartre...I didnt know that it's that KIND of man that i find myself drawn into...
umm...well...
nevermind...

-jadedlittlesisie-

The philosophy I follow?

2006-06-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

You scored as Existentialism.

Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism:

You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

"Man is condemned to be free;

because once thrown into the world,

he is responsible for everything he does."

"It is up to you to give [life] a meaning."

--Jean-Paul Sartre

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism

95%

Kantianism

75%

Utilitarianism

70%

Strong Egoism

70%

Hedonism

65%

Justice (Fairness)

35%

Nihilism

20%

Divine Command

Apathy

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

confused

2006-05-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

now that i think of it. the fact that i'm still confused, even know. show how actively and healthily my brain works. well. maybe not healthily.
but isn't health is one of the world greatest issues, baby?

-sie-

bitchbitchbitchtheresonanceofthweordbitch

2006-05-10T02:27:00.000-07:00

He called me bitch and then threw himself at the fire. I didn't like the antagonist part of the play but I knew that they are needed in every story. It's just that I was not used to play the role, so maybe I played it badly, not well enough to make a good criticism out of it. Perhaps thats why I didnt even like acting out, I preferred all those backstage fuss. You know, inventing plot, choosing costumes, decorating stages and all that jazz.

Bitch.
Hey, did you know that the word had gone ameliorated since the postmodern era came?

-sie-

pausing off

2006-05-10T02:24:00.000-07:00

The dimming shades of light, right in the corner of the stage, our heroine sank down while absorbing the feeling of coldness spreading around in her chest. She's contemplating, concentrating to the sense of the flow of coldness slithering and creeping to every single vein in her body, and when the feeling of coldness reached her neck, creating a lonelier feeling even more than ever, she lifted up her right hand and placed it on her forehead, trying to seek any kind of warmness that she might still be able to sense. In a low muttering voice, she sighed "oh… the drama of my life, the pain, the agony…."
(Insert a scratching slap-in-the-head sound here…)

Alright, me had had my slap in the head, the drama queen had slapped back to the reality. Through with the drama queen phase, here goes my favorite phase, the bitter bitch; a time to chuckle a bit upon yourself while sharpening your machete. So this is where I am now, my bitter bitch phase. After spending four years an a half with a control-freak possessive psychotic, who had always managed to creep behind my back and had pledged to stab any kind of guy who’d dare tried to get near me, my next date was a blithely debonair Byronic villain who turned out to be an anti-establishment commitment phobic, whom, after our one year and a half relationship been going on quite steadily, got really freaked out and discarded me by saying "honey, I know that I’m so in love with you because it always feels like home every time I hug you, but sometimes I just don’t want to be home…" I seriously feel like a main character of a sappy chicklit now, and the worst part of it is that hell… I don’t even like chicklit. Ain’t just life a drama?
And here I am now, looking back all the paths of life I had been hopping all along, while bitterly laughing at myself. It's funny to realize that the habit of pausing off while we’re reading a book is always done in between the finished chapter, before we're starting to read on into the next chapter of the book. Ever wondered why, though? Why can't we just take a pause off in the middle of the chapter? Analyzing what had been read all along, taking little notes here and there, while thinking, guessing and predicting, based on notes and analyses we had made, of how the chapter that we’d been reading on would be in the end of the chapter. I guess it's because some of us, don't really like some spoiler of thoughts ruin the thrilling sensation of curiosity we feel while enjoying the reading. So the choose is might as well find the closure and make the more complete analysis about it afterward.
Well, the thing is, in reading books and stuff like that, you don't have to do the 'pausing off' part in a bitter bitch mood, while in the real life, it's sort of does, at least for me. Why? Because it sorts of affect my real feeling… duh… the feeling of coldness spread in the chest is not felt by the heroine in the book, it's my own coldness, my own fear, my sorrow and sadness.
But like chapters in book, the more chapters we read, the more knowledge we’d gather in understanding the story. About its main character and her role in the whole story, about her point of views, about the choices she had made, about other characters in the story and their relation and role to her, and finally about the flow of the story that leads to the climax.
So although most of the time done in my bitter bitch mood, my 'pausing off' part always at the very least give me more knowledge about me, myself, this little girl who sometimes can get so clueless in running her life. It always brings me new lessons, new understanding, new perspective in seeing my self and my life.

-sie-

sucked

2006-03-02T04:29:00.000-08:00

i am elated in something that would definitely kill me. but who gives a fuck. people will eventually die anyway.

-sie-

the bubbles i choke

2006-03-01T03:57:00.000-08:00

i think tomorrow, or pretty soon,
somebody's going to come and chop my head off.
i should stop choking so many bubbles.

-sie

So the cheesy title said

2006-02-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

So the cheesy title said that you hold that shine on your braces

Trinket little bucket
Hopping around madly like zesty little pneuma
I must say I am amazed *insert smile here*
What? You don’t know pneuma?
But you learn philosophy dear baby dear
It is not love
But it is light enough to glow my gloom cookie

-sie-

So the cheesy title said that you hold that shine on your braces

Trinket little bucket
I must say that everyone is
Responsible for their own state of happiness
So do I doop doop doobie woop
So do I
Say, how about if I say that for now
I take you like a soft ray of sunshine in the morning
Or a warm feeling of a cup of coffee
Or a beautiful reddish dragonfly suddenly crossing before me
When I hold my gloom cookie

-sie-

So the cheesy title said that you hold that shine on your braces

Trinket little bucket
As cheesy as it may sound
I think you’re so snug
It’s like I want to draw a thousand of grinning smileys
Whenever the thought of you cross my mind
Woop hoop hoop hoop
Silly silly silly me

-sie-

Trinket little bucket

Trinket little bucket,
Can I quietly keep you in my pocket?
A busy little packet
Making my heart melt
Chocolate ice cream
Raspberry sugar cream
A never ending mellow stream

-sie-

2006-01-18T02:39:00.000-08:00

hi... I'M BACK..
after a rather long yet hollow pre and post new year break.. i'm here again..
this site is still under construction, i'm currently working on it. i took the skin from blogskins.com, it's a pretty cool site, actually.
anyway... thoughts were helplessly bursting and erupting out of my head since quite sometimes... kinda miss the old melodramatic rants used to be poured down here.. but before that i have to work on with the lay out first.. so.. well..

see ya soon.
-sie-

and i am here

2005-12-12T04:54:00.000-08:00

alright so i'm here again dear baby dear, it's like you know that i wont go for long. my entries these days, dear baby dear, are so boring with sentimental shites, it's like fully loaded with a total nothingness of my overflowing melodramatic emotion. how can i help it dear baby dear, i'm lost, and i've cursed myself for that.
look, maybe i should've talked about something else, the sky, the moon, the wrecked wrecked souls, the hatred that people declared everywhere around, the confusion, and all that. but look what i'm doing here dear baby dear, i'm standing here alone blabbering myself. even worse, it's myself in such an abstract and absurd sense. o how selfish. absurdity never worked dear baby dear, waiting for people to comprehend your soul. might as well wait forever. you understand forever, dear baby dear?
and i am lost and i am flying and i am winding and i am pretending and i am insencere and i am knowing and i am jaded and i am pretending and i am pretending and i am pretending and i am not knowing and i am insencere and i am black black black black bloody pitch black with no light at all and i am drown and i am sucked and i am lost lost lost.

blablablablablablab
and i am here. blabbering myself.
maybe one day i'll leave but i dont even know for how long then.

-sie

walkwalkwalkwalkandwalk

2005-12-07T04:47:00.000-08:00

i'm leaving.

-sie

*image was taken from http://www.painetworks.com

floating

2005-11-29T23:59:00.000-08:00

hidup itu, adalah kutub-kutub titik ekstrim yang mengerikan. you, my dear, and me too... are walking in the long bold line made by thousands and thousands dots of freaky and unpredictable fringe of emotion. haunting. enchanting. overwhelming. destroying.
the journey, my dear, is really never that secure, although most of us do feel that it is. covered and tangled in those overwhelming joy we feel when we coincidentally and unintentionally step on the dots of elated emotion. happiness. bliss. elation.
when we step on happiness we forget that somewhere there, are dots that waiting for us to step on them. the dots of sadness, despair, devastation, hurt, broken, damaged. they are there and waiting for us, for they too are the parts of the dots that composed the bold lines.
when i make you happy, the journey would bring you the time when i would make you sad.
when you feel blissful, you shall wait until the journey bring you despair, and devastation and dreary...

if only i could float, walking along in the air, completing my journey, without the tip of my toes touching all the dots.
but then again, could it make me feel you?

-sie-

fractured

2005-11-28T05:01:00.000-08:00

the thing is... dear baby dear... i know that i am fractured.
and i am wounded.
and i am hurt.
but i feel too stupid
to cry.

in your shoulder, especially.

cry.
cry.
cry.
cry.
cry.

there you go, baby.
i'm done with my cry
now i could go back to see you
and smile.

-sie-

image was taken from http://fabi.blogs.sapo.pt/

the sugar-sweet bitch

2005-11-24T04:10:00.000-08:00

because people always thought of me as 'sugar-sweet', they thought that i could tolerate everything. the thing is, of course i cant. i could be upset too. and when i am, i could be such a depressive bitch.
i havent talked to my bestfriend for almost five days now. i kinda miss her. but she's the one who started it. call me oversensitive, call me childish, but i'm just being the 'could-not-be-that-tolerant-about-every-single-fucking-thing-thrown-at-my-face' me.

-sie-

*image was taken from www.istockphoto.com

Girl Talk

2005-11-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

“This mattress is getting harder and harder than ever, don’t you think?”
She nodded her head, stretched and yawned. “I’m tired.” She said. “I think we should get a new mattress.”
“That would cost a bit.”
“You’re right.” Then she dragged her book from the side of the mattress and started reading.
“I thought the exam week had over.”
“Me too, that’s why I really wish I could burn the campus, or at least chop my lecture’s head.”
She said that in a flat, monotonous tone. I laughed.
“How’s that guy? Did he call you?”
“Nope. I didn’t expect him to call me anyway.”
“Not at all?”
“Well… once, the next day after we did it. He called me to say he’s sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?”
“He thought I was having a problem that bothers my mind. He didn’t want me to think that he’s well… sort of using the chance.” She sneered, in a rather absurd solemn sneer.
“Was that the case?”
“Well it’s true that I was a bit upset that day… but…”
“But I’m sure that it was you…”
I looked at her eyes, she looked at me back.
“Yes… it was me who’s using him.”
We giggled, just like teenage girls who giggle in their private pajamas party, only it was in a slightly different case. She threw a cryptic smile then took a cigarette from her ciggie box and lit it.
“I was the one who seduced him, you know?”
“Oh I can tell.”
“Yes. And look how he felt guilty about it. He didn’t even know that I was the one who’s using him.”
“Is it working?”
“What?”
“I mean… you used him for some purposes, didn’t you?”
“Yes… I wanted to forget my problem a bit with that as**ole bastard.”
“Is it working? Did it make you forget your problem with that other guy?”
“No. But I felt a bit happier.”
“Happier compared to before you did it?”
“Sort of.”
“Oh alright ... as long as you’re happy.”
Then the cryptic smile was put upon her eyes once more. I looked at her and tried to throw some of my stupid jokes. She puffed her cigarette and begun to read her book again.

-sie-

Ding-Dong!

2005-11-13T19:46:00.000-08:00

I gain weight
My cheeks are chubbier and my bum’s getting bigger
And bigger and bigger than ever
I think my eyes are bigger too
They are free and they see whatever they want to see
And since they can see whatever they want to see,
I can feel they are widening and widening more than ever
So they can capture everything by a single glance
I do think that they enjoy themselves too
These feet and these hands
They are merrier than ever
Feet are free running like crazy
And hands claps themselves every occasionally
No strain and no chain
Wherever they want to go
They know that they can
The teeth and the tongue, and the lips too
Crooning and chanting, prattling and laughing
And oh one more thing
The heart is growing too
It grows bigger and bigger
Warmer and warmer
Ding-dong!
Happy birthday to you,
I hope yours are growing too

-sie-

umm... the 22nd November guy, this is an early birthday poem for you...